50 Things to Do Before We Perish
by sapphire-glass
Summary: IYxYYHxOC crossover. What happens when a crazed hobo says that you're going to perish and you happen to find a list of 50 things to do before it happens? A LOT of humor, that's what!
1. 1 Robbing An Armed Hair Salon

**50 Things to Do Before We Perish**

Chapter one: Robbing an Armed Hair Salon

((Summary: (I suck at summaries) Inuyasha x Yu Yu Hakusho x OC crossover. Sapphire, Ruby, Kurama, Inuyasha, Kuwabara and Yusuke are bored one day. Smelly and bloody chaos strike and only the four are left. While Inu, Sapph, Kurama, and Ruby are at the park, a crazed hobo tells them they will perish. They find a list of things to do before they do indeed perish. EXTREMELEY funny and pointless. Guaranteed to either make you piss your pants or fall out of your chair laughing.))

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Sapphire: I am back (echoes). Back again (echoes). Sapph is back (echoes). Warn your friends (echoes). God damnit! Where the hell is that echo coming from? (echoes) glares

Inuyasha: I have no idea but it's really damn annoying.

Hiei: It's coming from the record player Ruby bought on purpose to annoy the living hell out of you.

Sapphire: glares at small person: And you are letting her wHY?

Hiei: shrugs Why help you, baka kurohyou?

Inuyasha: My girlfriend is NOT stupid.

Sapphire: blushes slightly Yeah! You…midget!

Hiei: started to walk away but freezes as Sapphire calls him a midget W-what did you c-call me you mesuinu?

Sapphire: Teme! How dare you say that to me! I am your superior!

Hiei: eye twitches Says who?

Sapphire: Says the doctor that says I'm 10 inches taller than you!

Inuyasha: As much as I like fighting, this will NOT turn out good. The disclaimer is that Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi; InuYasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi; finally, Ruby belongs to Ruby (one owner of griffen-gal) and Sapphire belongs to Sapphire (sapphire-glass). On with this pointless fanfiction; enjoy the humor.

**CHAPTER ONE: ROBBING AN ARMED HAIR SALON**

The entire group was over Ruby's house; oh joy. Yusuke was leaning against a wall, standing on his over-sized head; Kuwabara was fighting with the dog over a piece of bacon because, well, he's a dipshit.

Kurama was reading a dictionary to find new ways to lecture his friends; they all need to rot in hell for being so inconsiderate and……calling him a girl; yeah, that's it! Ruby was banging her head on the computer desk.

Inuyasha was sprawled out on the floor on his back, counting the numerous things wrong with Ruby's house. Finally, Sapphire was on the floor with Inuyasha; poking his head out of boredom.

((Aren't THESE a lively bunch.))

"What dashy is it?" Yusuke asked with a slur; the blood must have been going to his head….either that or he's a drunk little monkey.

"I have absolutely NO idea what a 'dashy' is." Sapphire said sarcastically, not looking up from poking Inu.

"In moron talk, that means what DAY is it, and its Saturday." Kurama informed, placing the book back down on the almost empty book shelf. Poor little bookshelf; all alone in that corner, with a dictionary of all things. Psh, burn the damn thing.

"Shtank shoe." Yusuke said, his eyes started to twirl.

Everybody sweatdropped and stared at the idiot; everybody except Kuwabara, who had yet to achieve the goal of winning the bacon.

IN YUSUKE'S MIND:

chirp, chirp

DEEPER INTO YUSUKE'S MIND:

chirp, chirp, chirp

EVEN FARTHER INTO YUSUKE'S MIND:

crickets die and a chibi Yusuke is chased by the giant tuna

IN REALITY

Yusuke continued to be in his dazed little world of idiocity as the others continued to either be bored shitless, or continue to try and take slobbery bacon from a poor dog. ((Oh, THAT sounds appetizing gags))

Ruby stopped banging her head, which had a large bruise on it mind you, on the desk and took a sniff. Her eyes bugged out and she covered her nose and mouth.

"EW! HOLY KUSO! DO YOU _SMELL_ THAT?" she screamed from behind her hands.

Everybody sat or stood up and sniffed; except the two commonly known idiots. They all went bug-eyed as well and start coughing insanely.

"WHO FARTED?" Inuyasha blurted out, choking on the lack of clean air.

"Wasn't us." Sapphire, Kurama, and Ruby responded disgustedly.

"Sure the hell wasn't ME." Inuyasha said, sticking his head out a conveniently located window in Ruby's room.

"It was one of THOSE creatures!" Sapphire choked out, joining Inuyasha at the window; Kurama following suit.

"My dog did not rip one." Ruby said, picking up the dog who had indeed won the bacon and sticking its and her own head out the window for air.

"Uhhhh…………" Kuwabara said slowly, rubbing the back of his head. "Scuse me a minute." he said quickly and ran out of the house, the stench subsiding.

"I sharted god flabbit!" Kuwabara grumbled and ran awkwardly home.

"Uh, did Urameshi die?" Sapphire asked, hope in her eyes staring at the now collapsed Yusuke.

Kurama felt his pulse and said "No, sorry Sapph, not today."

"Shimatta!" she hissed and searched through Ruby's closet; pulling a huge set of drumsticks.

"Die teme!" Sapphire screamed and started beating Yusuke into further unconsciousness.

"Uh….where'd that come from?" Inuyasha asked, all three taking a step away from the deranged panther demon.

After observing her work, Sapphire threw the bloody drumsticks outside the window; which hit a old man's car who at that precise moment happen to have a heart attack thinking his medication pills were alive and out to attack him, causing his old frigged up car to smash into 6 other frigged up cars, causing an entire frigged up car accident.

Screeches, horns, screams, pains of anguish, and etc were heard from outside. Everybody stared out the window, then the three stared at Sapphire, and that cycle continued for approximately 2.14 minutes.

"OKKKKKKKKKK then." Ruby said slowly and leaned against Kurama.

"What now?" Kurama asked, putting an arm around Ruby.

"Now we act like nobody from the outside is staring up here wondering where the drumsticks CAME from." Sapphire said slowly and begins to laugh maniacally.

MEANWHILE OUTSIDE, PASSERBYS LOOKING AT THE FRIGGED UP CAR ACCIDENT STARE UP AT THE WINDOW, AND START SLOWLY MOVING AWAY.

There was a knock on Ruby's front door. "Police!" A voice came from outside the door.

"AND NOW WE RUN FOR OUR FRICKIN' LIVES!" Sapphire screamed and jumped out the OTHER window. Everybody stared at the window, snapped back to reality, and followed Sapphire out the window.

Yusuke, by my authoressly powers, reawakes and stumbled down the flight of stairs to answer the door. ((Take note, he is a bloody pulp))

"Heshlo?" he asked; his left eye all pussy and blue. He reached out to the police officer.

"IT'S A MANIAC! BRING HIM DOWN!" the police officer yelled, and 3 police officers started beating Yusuke with their night sticks.

MEANWHILE WITH THE OTHER PEOPLE

Sapphire, Ruby, Inuyasha, and Kurama were walking down the street; the boys with their hands in their pockets and the girls were trying to shoot a butterfly with a slingshot.

"Shimatta! Missed again!" Ruby screamed.

"Stay still ya little bastard!" Sapphire growled and took another shot.

"OW MY EYE!" some person yelled and the four ran ahead quickly.

"You're annoying, ya know that?" Inuyasha grumbled, referring to both girls.

"Yes, but you know ya love us." Sapphire said in a childishly voice and hugged Inuyasha around the waist. He blushed and held her as well.

((See? Humor and fluff are the best diet!))

Kurama nodded and walked in the same way with Ruby(much to her delight).

They continued walking until Ruby decided she was hungry. "I'm HUNNNNNNGRRRRRRRRYYYYYY!" she whined and pointed to her rumbling stomach.

"Would you like a cookie?" Sapphire said rolling her eyes.

"What kind?" Ruby asked. Sapphire's eye began to twitch rapidly.

"I'm hungry, too." Inuyasha complained and start doing his 'puppy-dog-look-with-the-added-whimpering-effects' look.

Sapphire looked up as if deciding, smiled, then scratched Inu's ears and walked into a random food place.

"SUSHI!" Ruby squealed and started dancing. Ever since her encounter with a magician, she oddly had the always urge to eat slimy things…..eww…..DON'T WORRY! MOSTLY SUSHI! ((DEF. not the shit Kuwabara's toes produce gags and falls over dead))

They ordered their sushi without paying and walked over to eat at a table in the far corner.

"HEY! You didn't pay!" the Chinese sushi dude screamed.

"HEY! We don't plan to!" Sapphire screamed.

"GET YOUR OWN GOD DAMN SUSHI DAMNIT! IT'S MINE!" Ruby screamed as well and started hissing insanely.

Inuyasha and Kurama started cracking up hysterically. Kurama walked over to where Ruby sat in the corner hissing and gripping her sushi for dear life to assure her. Inuyasha walked over, picked Sapphire up, and flung her over his shoulders.

"I won't pay! You can't make me you shit-for-brains!" Sapphire growled, kicking and shaking her fists wildly.

Now that everybody was seated, finished eating, and had NOT paid, they decided to leave and go to the park a few blocks down.

IN JAIL

Yusuke lay in a dark corner, twitching and bleeding horribly. His cellmate was a gay cross dresser (literally, a homosexual; no disrespect to those people, though) who kept winking at him.

Yusuke inched further against the wall and his cellmate started making kissy faces at him.

AT THE PARK

Sapphire presently didn't feel like doing any obstacles, so she jumped ontop of the monkey bars and laid there.

Inuyasha and Kurama sat in a nearby bench, and Ruby sat cross-legged on the ground drawing a dancing hamster in the dirt with a stick.

Out of nowhere, a crazed Hobo came running at the four.

"THE WORLD IS ENDING! THE WORLD IS ENDING! YOU WILL ALL PERISH SOON!" he screamed and ran around the group in circles.

"Are you related to the rubber ducky man?" Sapphire and Ruby asked; quirking eyebrows.

"Possibly." the hobo said with shifty eyes.

"Why should we believe YOU?" Inuyasha asked crossing his arms.

"I asked the all-knowing Coy fish." he said proudly and ran off, yelling " HEED MY WARNING, YOU ARE DOOMED!"

"I'm bored. Think he's right?" Sapphire asked.

"You can't be SERIOUS." Kurama said bluntly.

"He asked the all-knowing Coy fish damnit; it may be just more sushi but its wise and noble and…….uh………not really, but……..yeah." Ruby started out wisely then finished off unknowingly.

A piece of paper fluttered from the sky as if from the heavens ((That bastard up there needs to rot in an eternal abyss! Die you bastard! Pansy-assed ass-wipe! shoots gun at the 'supposed' god))

Sapphire picked it up and started reading it. Ruby and the others started reading over her shoulder.

"How oddly placed is THIS shit." Inuyasha said, sitting back in the bench with Kurama.

Ruby and Sapphire read on to number 9. Sapphire blushed madly and looked at Inuyasha. Ruby blushed madly and looked at Kurama. '_I think I'll keep THAT; regardless how damn cute he is_.' Sapphire thought, and presently, the same thought went through Ruby's mind.

The girls handed the paper to the boys and pointed to number nine. They blushed and put the paper face down.

What was on the paper you lifeless nuisances ask ((Just kidding just kidding! Or am I? shifty eyes))

52 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU PERISH. Irony, yes? Yet two of those will NOT be done, therefore it is only 50 Things To Do Before You Perish. What was #9? None of your damn business! But if you MUST know ((pestering morons)), It read:

'9) LOOSE VIRGINITY'

((I WILL NOT POST THE ENTIRE LIST. THE CHAPTERS WILL BE ENTITLE 1)-50) SHOWING WHAT IS ON THE LIST, OK? OK!))

"Alrighty then, let's look at Number ONE." Sapphire suggested and sat on Inuyasha's lap without protest or any time to and began reading.

"1) Rob an Armed Hair Salon"

"Sounds spiffy!" Ruby said and stood next to Kurama with begging eyes.

"I'll do it." Sapphire said.

"Me too!" Ruby shouted victoriously.

"I guess so." Inuyasha said.

Kurama was silent.

Everybody looked at him.

"Can I help you?" he asked impatiently.

"Yes. Are you coming or what?" Ruby asked.

"What if I said no?" he asked.

"Would you like to spend the rest of your life with Yusuke and his gay cross dressing cellmate!" Sapphire asked with a smirk; scaring the hell out of the male fox demon.

"Ok, ok! Gees! Hey what a moment: where did YOU find that out?" Kurama asked, all three of them quirking an eyebrow at Sapphire. "Uhh…..nowhere." she mumbled smiling innocently.

"Riiiiight." they all said and shook their heads.

"Alright, well, let's do number one." Ruby said happily, stuffed the list into her pocket with a pen, and stood waiting.

"How will we rob an armed hair salon? Besides, their armed." Kurama said obviously not wanting to do it.

"EASY! I can turn invisible, we're ALL super fast, and only pansy-assed preppies ((if you are a prep, don't take it offensively)) go there, so regardless if they're armed or not they can't fight worth shit." Sapphire declared and crossed her arms nodding.

"True." Inuyasha stated.

They all agreed (Kurama somewhat reluctantly) and headed off to 'Hair Salon Ah La Prep'.

IN JAIL

Yusuke was rolling around his jail cell. He was feeling slightly better but not much. Why was he rolling? He's a friggin' moron. Why was he really rolling? His gay, cross dressing cellmate was swaying toward him and reaching his hands out in the 'gimme, gimme!' state and making kissy lips.

OUTSIDE HAIR SALON AH LA PREP

The group of four had just gotten back from 'Masks We Wear', buying four black ski masks. They already HAD powers on their own, so needn't buy any weapons.

"Ready?" Sapphire asked; her, Kurama, and Inuyasha already having their masks on. See, Sapphire didn't see why it was so important to wear a mask if she could turn herself and/or others invisible. Kurama insisted, though.

"Let's do it!" Ruby said excitedly and slipped on her mask. They all huddled around Sapphire and she touched her Spirit Gem; becoming invisible. They walked inside and towards the front counter.

"This is a robbery damnit!" Ruby screamed as the group became re-visible. Everybody in the store looked at the girls, then at each other.

"Eiyiyiyiyiyiyai!" they cried (their battle cry of course) and took out guns, lipstick, and curling irons.

"Buwahahahahaaaaa!" Inuyasha screamed and Kurama followed suit. Ruby and Sapphire were rolling on the door cracking up hysterically.

"WHAT?" Said a really fat woman who held an over-sized donut as her weapon.

"Oh yeah, a donut and lipstick is REALLY going to hurt us." Inuyasha said sarcastically, the others still laughing.

"Yep." A skinny little girl shouted and her lipstick transformed so that it as a poison dart. The rest of the lipstick holders did the same; the donut lady made her donut turn into cement and the curling irons went on full blast. They reloaded their guns and pointed.

The entire store turned upside down, and it was no longer a salon. The front desk was a base, the bathrooms held ammo, the hair dryers turned into moving robots, and everything else changed with that.

"Might have made a slight understatement, eh?" Kurama said, a little bit glaring at Sapphire and taking out the rose whip.

Inuyasha took out and transformed Tetsusaiga; Ruby had a short sword and Sapphire had dagger edged tonfas.

"We'll still kick their asses." Sapphire muttered and they went into battle position.

ON THE STREET SOMEWHERE

"Come back here you smelly pukester!" the police officer who had bagged Yusuke screamed.

Kuwabara was running away from him and a lady screaming.

"HIS SMELL KILLED MY CAT! GET HIM! GET HIM!" she shouted from her backyard where a burial for the cat was taking place.

"No I didn't! I swear! I like cats!" Kuwabara shouted running awkwardly and screaming.

"YES YOU DID, YOU LIEING SACK OF SHART! YOU HATED MY CAT! YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE!" she shouted running after the police officer and him with a rolled up newspaper.

The woman and the police officer put noseplugs and rubber suits on and then pounced on the moron.

"NO!" he screamed and was dragged off into the 'police car of hell', all the time being whacked with the rolled-up newspaper by the angry woman.

MINUTES LATER

Kuwabara was being dragged inside the jail, and to the cells. "Hey, it's Yusuke!" Kuwabara shouted idiotically and pointed to where Yusuke was now crawling away from his Yusuke-hungry cellmate.

"Fine, go with your deranged friend." the police officer grunted and threw him into the cell ontop of Yusuke.

"Get off of me you fat lard!" he screamed and kicked Kuwabara off. He landed into the arms of his and Yusuke's gay cross dressing cellmate.

"Hey sweetheart." the man said and kissed Kuwabara. Right there Yusuke barfed and Kuwabara fainted. Hahahahahahahaa!

IN THE FRIGGED UP 'HAIR SALON AH LA PREP'

Everybody was panting and sweating horribly. The donut lady was so panicked so she ate her donut and was poisoned and rushed to a hospital. The little girl got one scrape and starting bawling so her mom came and got her. ((And nobody noticed blood and destruction everywhere in the damn salon?))

The other salon people were cowering behind their base. Inuyasha wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "Damn preppies." he muttered through gritted teeth.

"Ruby, I just thought of something." Sapphire said re-preparing her tonfas.

"Hm?" Ruby asked and did some twirly thingy ma jiggies with the short sword.

"We STILL haven't robbed the friggin' hair salon." she said frankly.

"Oh…….but the cash register is near their base." Ruby said; all eyes went on the prepified base.

"H-here!" they shouted with tears in their eyes and threw all the money at the demons.

"Dono arigato." Ruby said and they walked out of the store with Kurama flinging 5 of the sacks over his shoulder and Inuyasha flinging the other 6.

This time they went to Sapphire's house and counted up the money.

"$120,000,145.09! Holy shit! How many preps GO there?" Sapphire screamed happily and threw some money in the air.

"A lot." Kurama said simply and smiled as Ruby pretended to swim.

"Hey! Let's fill Sapphire's pool!" Ruby declared, shooting a fist in the air.

"Yeah……there isn't even enough WATER to fill it." Inuyasha said blankly.

"Oh well!" Sapphire and Ruby shouted together and they all ran outside to fill it.

"Think they would have used BIG bills, not just $1's." Inuyasha grumbled and flung the bills into the pool.

"Hey, what about Yusuke and Kuwabara?" Kurama asked suddenly, wondering what the hell happened.

"I am not bailing them out. Leave them to be raped." Sapphire said cheerfully as she and Ruby ran inside to change into bathing suits.

Inuyasha and Kurama took off their shirts and cannonballed into the money-filled pool.

"SHIRTLESS!" Ruby squealed to Sapphire under her breath. They high-fived each other and waked outside.

The boys looked at them. "You pervs!" they screamed and jumped ontop of them, feet first, spreading the money EVERYWHERE.

IN THE JAIL CELL

Kuwabara and Yusuke had regained food in their stomachs and consciousness ((sadly)) and were huddled together cowering in fear. "We're going to have fun, duckies." the man said and took off his shirt.

"NO!" they screamed, their eyes burning.

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**

Sapphire: Damn, that was long.

Hiei: When the hell am I coming into the picture?

Sapphire: whistles innocently You'll see……maybe.

Inuyasha: Oh! Another disclaimer, we DO own 'Hair Salon Ah La Prep' and 'Masks We Wear'. Heh.

Sapphire: runs away from angry midget

Hiei: chasing Sapphire I am NOT GOING TO BE THE FRIGGIN' GAY CROSS DRESSER IN DISGUISE!

Sapphire: Run! He's going to rape you!

Hiei: NO I'm NOT!

Inuyasha: Oh boy, ere we go again. Now I'm the wise one; this is bullshit. Review damnit; and don't expect EVERY chapter this long. Sapphire has writer's block easily and big mental issues. But if she DOES, then it'll be a while before she updates.

Sapphire: SOME BOYFRIEND YOU ARE YOU JERK!


	2. 2 Stealing A Penguin From The San Diego ...

**50 THINGS TO DO BEFORE WE PERISH**

Chapter Two: 2) Stealing a Penguin from the San Diego Zoo & Naming Him Herbert

Sapphire: Holy kuso:does dance: You reviewed!

Hiei: Yeah, so?

Sapphire: It's a big deal, damnit!

Hiei: No its not. And I wouldn't review if my life depended on it.

Sapphire: Well, you couldn't review anyway. You can't REACH the review button!

Hiei: Stop making cracks about me or I'll flame your ass.

Inuyasha: Touch her ass and you'll fucking die!

Sapphire:nods: What he said.

Hiei: Bakas.

Sapphire: Just to clear something up from last chapter: Dreamchasereternity owns 'rubber ducky man' and 'giant tuna'. Oh! And I haven't updated in a while because, well, this chapter was a LOT to write.

Inuyasha: Must I say the disclaimer?

Hiei and Sapphire: You must.

Inuyasha:groans: Sapphire is owned by Sapphire(sapphire-glass); Ruby is owned by Ruby(one owner of griffen-gal); Yu Yu Hakusho is owned by Yoshihiro Togashi; InuYasha is owned by Rumiko Takahashi; Rubber Ducky Man and Giant Tuna belong to Dreamchasereternity. We have no idea who the hell owns Neopets or ShopRite, but we don't. Anything with ((or))'s around it is an author's note.

Sapphire: I don't think this chapter is NEARLY as funny as last chapter, but it sure the hell is longer. On to review responses!

**DIVIDERS SUCK ASS**

GRIFFEN-GAL: Thanks for reviewing, Rubes! Yes, you're the first to review; spiffy you. Glad you like it; don't laugh too hard or you might 'shart'. LOL. J/k! I'm updating, I'm updating! Yes he is. Die teme: Fires gun into sky: Yes, you're loved and you're welcome for that. Ok….I is SO not mopping up whatever is squeezed out of Youko. I will keep up the good work. I don't; they're gay ass-wipes; LOL! Sayonara! Yayness! Spread the word of this fic: Looks at Youko's almost dead corpse: Hey, she's YOUR girlfriend. : Steps over corpse to get a bag of Fritos:

ELEMENT HANYOU: Thanks for looking at the fic! Glad you liked it and I will. Heh, you were second……….but hey, second is koolio!

INUYAHSA FANGIRL: Yay! Brandi reviewed! I'm doing ok I guess, what about you? Glad you liked it, I plan to, and I'm TRYING! Yay! Reviewing is healthy exercise, don't ya know. YAY! I'M LOVED!—er, my STORY is loved!

KAHLEL: YAY! A faithful reviewer of a different fic again! Hurrip! (Hurray is SO 4.3 billion years ago.) Glad you enjoyed it. Ha, but see, see, I'm writing this one on my own.

WRITINGWOMAN: The weird laugh again, eh? LOL. See, I know all.

**CHAPTER TWO: 2) STEAL A PENGUIN FROM THE SAN DIEGO ZOO AND NAME IT HERBERT**

IN JAIL CELL

Yusuke and Kuwabara were holding on to the cell bars for dear life. Their legs were being pulled by the love-sick homosexual cross dresser.

"LET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Yusuke shouted, tears falling from his black and blue eyes.

"Wahaha! I don't deserve this!" Kuwabara cried.

"Yes you do teme." Yusuke growled and started crying hysterically.

"Come on boys, stop resisting! I hate it when you tease me and play hard to get!" the disgusting gay cross dressing cellmate said, licking his disgusting lips.

"DAMN SAPPHIRE TO HELL!" Yusuke screamed, feeling himself being ignored and pulled further in the cell.

ON SAPPHIRE'S DECK

Sapphire, Kurama, Inuyasha, and Ruby were all sitting down on Sapphire's huge deck. Sapphire was sitting on Inuyasha's lap, legs curled, head leaning back on his shoulders and Inuyasha was nuzzling into her neck.

Kurama was holding Ruby bridal style in the chair and they were snuggling close together. ((Oh la la; bikinis for the girls and only pants for the boys.))

"So, what next?" Inuyasha asked, holding Sapphire tighter.

"Watch it!" Sapphire squeaked as his claw dug into her side.

Inuyasha's ears drooped. "Sorry." Sapphire smiled and wrapped her arms around Inu's neck, the two kitsune's snickering to themselves.

"Problem?" Inuyasha and Sapphire asked with a growl, glaring. The two foxes looked away and started whistling innocently.

"Uh let's see…………"Ruby said slowly and picked up the list from off of the floor.

"I thought that was in your pants pocket…." Kurama started but then remembered something: she's Ruby. Ruby, the klutz. Ruby, fox element of fire, the sister of the panther element of darkness, Sapphire. He would expect the unexpected and strangely placed with these two around. Besides, Ruby's his girlfriend; who didn't remember their girlfriend was a weirdo ditz!

((Hey, noticed something. Inu and Sapph never kissed, and Rubes and Kura never kissed. Hmmm…….))

"It's says' 2) Steal a penguin from the San Diego Zoo and name him Herbert. '" she read and a happy expression came on her face.

Ruby and Sapphire jumped off their boyfriends' laps, high-fived each other, and screamed in delight.

"AH!" Inuyasha growled and covered his sensitive doggy ears; Kurama covering his human ones.

"One of our life-long dreams will soon be accomplished because we're going to die anyways!" Sapphire declared smiling, placing her hands on her hips.

"Yeah! Personally, I'd like to name him Mr. Fluffy Uffy Wumpkins, but hey, Herbert's good." Ruby said smiling, doing the same as Sapphire.

The two guys stared at her like she was high and sweatdropped.

"Oh," Sapphire informed them," there was a huge teddy bear in ShopRite, Kurama this was before you knew her or Inuyasha knew me, and Ruby really wanted it for Christmas. So she got it and had NO idea what to name him.

"Then we went on this freaky site, Neopets, and into somebody's shop, and then some little girl in a cute voice started singing a freakishly cute song involving the line 'you're my fluffy uffy wumpkins.' So, she named him after the song.

She gave him a wife and everything. But then I—I mean somebody broke in her house and stole them because everytime any bear was mentioned, Ruby'd start singing THAT song."

The boys nodded in approval.

"I still wanna know what the hell HAPPENED to them. I'd kick the kidnapper's ass." Ruby said, putting and crossing her arms.

"Yeah, ok. The stealer would so kick your ass." Sapphire said with a proud smirk and sat back on Inuyasha's lap, crossing her legs.

IN THE JAIL CELL

Yusuke's leg was being pulled towards the gay cross dressing cellmate.

"Back you beast, back!" he shouted and picked up an anonymously placed frying pan and started whacking the cellmate's head with it.

"Kuwabara help!" Yusuke pleaded and saw that Kuwabara had kiss marks all over his face and was knocked out cold, drooling.

'_Who could even THINK of kissing that thing_?' Yusuke wondered and continued to repeatedly beat the cross dresser off of his leg.

INSIDE SAPPHIRE'S ROOM/BATHROOM

The girls came back upstairs the 8-floor mansion with no problem and walked into Sapphire's room. Although the boys didn't NEED to come upstairs and there was no way they could turn into Chibi Miroku's and peek, they decided to attempt anyway.

Although Inuyasha could run far and jump high, he was NOT in the mood to, neither was Kurama who had turned Youko. The two were on the 6th floor panting their brains out.

"Wonder what their problem is." Ruby said once inside Sapphire's room.

"Me too. We walk up these things all the time; my house and your house." Sapphire called, stepping into the bathroom, flicking the light-switch on, and closing the door.

"So, why do I always have to get changed in the bathroom?" Sapphire asked. "It's my room, you should be changing in the bathroom and I should be out here."

"Well, that's entirely true, but you're my sister and you do those things. Plus, the authoress says it'd totally ruin the paragraph that's coming up soon." Ruby said with a wise nod.

"Feh." Sapphire mumbled and continued changing.

"I'm done Rubes, but I'm going to like, brush my hair or something so yeah." Sapphire said and began brushing her teeth

"Yep." Ruby said, also finishing her own business and started looking around the big room. You'd think Sapphire's room would be piled but no, surprisingly she'd found time to clean.

Sapphire's room was sapphire-blueish silvery color ((if you haven't seen that color before, let me tell you, it's gorgeous)) and her rugs were a sapphire blue.

In one area was her futon bed, a night stand and light that was oddly in the shape of a world globe wrapped in chains, a computer desk, computer, a computer cushion (no chair), and a window.

In another area was a closet full of only hell knows what, two dressers, an easel for painting, another window, and a big clipboard of pictures of Sapphire and Inuyasha, and a few of Ruby and Kurama and all four of them as well.

The third area had barely anything except a mat to fight and practice fighting on and about every weapon you could imagine on the wall. The fourth area, there was the bathroom, a window, and a sack which Sapphire carried around. On the ceiling was…you guess it; Yusuke and Kuwabara's pictures with 18000 darts stuck in their heads.

Ruby decided that it would be really interesting to look in Sapphire's closet. So she did. She opened it slowly in fear of something collapsing on her, but found everything basically cemented together.

It looked like, you know those Chinese food container's that hold Low Mien? Well, dump one of those out without touching it and it's all blocked together. That's what it looked like, only with random things and no noodles.

Ruby's eyes scanned the closet but bulged as she saw something terrifying.

"AGHHHHHH!" she screamed.

Toothbrush in mouth, Sapphire jet out of the bathroom. "What?" she exclaimed.

Ruby looked at her. Her eyes were filled with tears and her bottom lip was trembling. In her hands were the heads of Mr. and Mrs. Fluffy Uffy Wumpkins.

"Oh, is that all?" Sapphire asked unfazed, leaning against the base of the bathroom door. She turned and went back into the bathroom to spit out the tooth paste.

"What do you MEAN is that all? Look what you did to my bears! You decapitated them you…you….you bitch! What'd they ever to do you?" Ruby cried, sobbing into the bears' stuffing.

"Annoyed the living hell out of me and haunted my beautiful nightmares." Sapphire said, arms crossed and leaning against the closet doors.

"Still!" Ruby screamed. _Sapphire truly is the element of Darkness. Heartless and who calls nightmares beautiful?_ Ruby thought and picked up the rest of the bears' bodies.

"And what may I ask are you doing?" Sapphire asked with a sigh.

"Giving them a proper burial, baka." Ruby said, turning her nose in the air and starting down the stairs.

"Oh no you don't you bastard! Not in my yard! And clean your mess up!" Sapphire shouted and threw Ruby's bathing suit at her. Ruby flew down the steps and landed with a thud.

"Let the battle begin!" Ruby shouted and pounced on her elder sister.

"Reow!" Sapphire cried ((like a cat does when you…heh, step on its tail)) as Ruby stepped on her tail.

Sapphire scratched Ruby's face and pounced back on her.

"Bring it on, bitch." she said with a huff and it began. They went tumbling down the flights of stairs, hissing, spitting, scratching, clawing, pulling, hitting, and kicking each other.

The two boys on the 6th floor stared as their girlfriends rolled down the stairs.

"I think we missed something." Inuyasha said with a sweatdrop.

"Yeah…….." Youko said with a nod, also sweatdropping. He and Inuyasha raced down the stairs after their rapidly pacing girlfriends.

IN THE JAIL CELL

"To hell or heaven's LORD, please let us out of here damnit!" Yusuke screamed and threw the frying pan at the cellmate.

"Please! We'll do 980,000,000 hours of community service if you let us go!" Kuwabara cried, surprised he even KNEW that number.

"Fine." the police officer said, quite annoyed at all their crying and that he couldn't get a seconds time of sleeping or stuffing his fat stomach with greasy and sure-to-kill-you-instantly donuts.

He led Yusuke and Kuwabara outside who were sticking their tongues out at their crying cellmate. He threw them outside and went back inside, not ready to deal with the sobbing homo cross dresser.

"Yes!" the boys shouted and high-fived each other. They looked around at all the people in orange suits, working. They were all cross dressers too! And THEY were all gay!

"Or not." Yusuke muttered and punched himself to knock him unconscious. Kuwabara picked up an anonymously place mirror, looked it in, and fainted of shock.

IN THE ARMS OF EITHER BOY

Instead of holding their own girlfriends, the boys decided to grab the opposite girl. Meaning that Inuyasha was holding a kicking and screaming Ruby back, and Youko was holding back a pissed-off, kicking and growling Sapphire.

"Let me go!" Ruby screamed.

"I need to kick her ass some more! Get off!" Sapphire growled. She kicked Youko where the sun certainly doesn't shine and Ruby elbowed Inuyasha in the nose.

"Mesuinu!" the boys yelled, Inuyasha falling down holding his nose and Youko almost crying out, clasping his hands together between his legs.

The girls instantly went back to fighting. They rolled from their current spot at the bottom of the steps into the kitchen. Out of nowhere a huge spray of water came flying at the two elements.

"What the hell?" they screamed and blocked their faces with their hands, but went flying into the opposing wall.

"You are so annoying." the sprayer said, and threw it back in the sink.

"Hiei, you bastard." Sapphire growled and stood up, taking her claws out ((like how Wolverine does it.))

"Wanna fight, kitty? We'll fight." Hiei said, and took a fighter's stance.

"NO!" Inuyasha growled and blocked them from fighting. "You're annoying the hell out of me! The girls need to get changed once again because they're practically naked from clawing each others clothing. Second off, YOU, Hiei…..where'd you come from?" Inuyasha finished off, narrowing his eyes at the short, black-haired person and not noticing blushing girls behind him.

Inuyasha and Hiei began to argue over stupid shit and Ruby and Sapphire forgot their fight for the time being, stepped over a still in-pain and on the floor Youko, and ran upstairs to change yet again.

IN COMMUNITY SERVICE

"What the hell, Kuwabara? Why'd you say 980,000,000 community service hours? We actually have to serve that many, dipkuso." Yusuke growled from his yellow suit in a corner, hammering a large and un-breakable rock with three old guys whistling at him as he worked.

"Well, I'd rather be back in there with that gay dude." Kuwabara mumbled from his own yellow suit in his own corner with some guy winking at him.

"At least there are GUARDS out here to protect us." Yusuke shouted and hit the rock one more time, still not being successful in breaking it.

As if on cue or something, a loud annoying bell rang out. It was a lunch break. The guards all went inside to grab some donuts and coffee; leaving the two idiots alone with the gay cross dressed cell-people……once again.

((I'm just SO mean. Muwahahahaha! Hey, I'm not the element of darkness for nothing.))

IN SAPPHIRE'S KITCHEN

The group of 5 was now all together in the kitchen. Everybody was fully and properly clothed. Sapphire was wearing blue short shorts ((doesn't it suck ass when there aren't any long pants washed?)) and a black belt, a blue belly shirt with a black short, sleeveless jacket pulled over top. She wore black boots that tied up to the knee.

Ruby was wearing a teal skirt with a slit down one side that went up to her knee. She was also wearing regular knee-high boots. Ruby had a grayish black shirt on that tied in the back, showing off her shoulders as there were no straps.

Sapphire apologized to Ruby ((Holy shit! The world's ending!)), Ruby apologized back, Inuyasha sat on Hiei until he apologized, Sapphire apologized to Youko who was still keeping a distance from her and still in a little pain, and Ruby apologized to Inuyasha who's nose had stopped bleeding.

So now everybody had explained to Hiei what they were doing and how they were planning their next adventure soon. He just burst out laughing, the little jerk….but wait, does he EVER laugh a lot?

"What's so funny?" Ruby asked with an 'hmmph!' and crossed her arms.

"You morons. Why the hell would you steal a penguin of all things? OR name it Herbert?" Hiei asked, subsiding his laughter.

"Well you're coming with us, shorty." Sapphire said with a smirk and everybody tried to not laugh at the look on the fire demon's face.

Hiei stood up and tried to get in Sapphire's face. "Oh, here let me help you." Sapphire said cracking up, and bent down to Hiei's eye level.

"Bitch." he muttered and glared at her. "One more crack, kurohyou. One more." he growled and gave her a look that meant 'I'm serious, damnit.'

"Hiei, what was that you said you wanted? 10 inch boots?" Inuyasha said with a smirk.

Hiei glared at him. Inuyasha shrugged and said, still with a smirk on his face, "You never said I couldn't make cracks about your shortness."

Hiei cracked his knuckles at his side and charged for Inuyasha. Ruby countered his fist with a kick to the head and he went flying backwards.

"Now IF you don't mind, and I don't care if you do, let's GO already!" Ruby said irritated.

Hiei grumbled something that sounded something like 'You fuckers can all go rot in hell, damnit' and they all went outside into…..outside.

"SO, how are we getting to San Diego, oh-smart-ones? It'd take a while to run or jump and I'm not boarding a plane with ningens." Hiei said sarcastically and rudely.

"Wouldn't is be easier to use the 'Spirit Gem'?" Ruby asked. Inuyasha, Ruby and Hiei nodded, and then looked at Sapphire.

"No way. Not doing it. Stop being lazy asses. Let's get running." Sapphire said and started walking.

"No! Too far damn it! Let's ride a plane!" Ruby complained and stood her ground.

Sapphire and Inuyasha shrugged. "Whatever." they chorused and against Hiei's wishes, Sapphire DID transport them all to the airport.

IN A CONVIENTLY LOCATED TREE

Yusuke was wrapped around a tree branch. Kuwabara was in the branch on-top of Yusuke's and they were both scared crapless.

The guards had yet to come back and now all of the gay cross dressers decide it'd be fun to hit on and scare the two idiotic freaks. So they did.

They were all crowded around the tree, biting at the guys and making inappropriate sexual comments.

"I MUST BE HATED! I SWEAR IF YOU LET ME OUT OF THIS FROM NOW ON I'L BE GOOD!" Yusuke cried to the motionless sky and Kuwabara was already crying like the ugly baby he was.

Just that moment the annoying bell sounded once again and the guards filed out, sending the cross dressers to angrily go back to work.

"YES!" Yusuke and Kuwabara shouted, and they tried high-fiving each other. But they, being them, missed and went flying out of the tree.

((Heh, don't worry, they'll get theirs……again. If somethin magically happens to the coffee, remember, it wasn't the authoress's fault!))

So the gang…..hey, we need a name for the gang, don't we. Let's see……I can't be the Inu or Yasha gang…..nor the Yu Yu gang….hmm…..I don't know. If you get any ideas, lemme know!

So anyway, 'the gang' was now waiting impatiently in line….or two of them were. We all know for a fact that Inuyasha is EXTREMELY impatient, but currently he was cursing off a vending machine for eating the dollar Sapphire gave him because even thought they stole all that money, he forgot some of his own. Ruby was sitting contently with Youko reading a magazine called 'THE DEMON TIMES'.

Now who does that leave, hm? That's right. The two who 100 do NOT get along. Sapphire and Hiei. There were about 5 people infront of them, but you know these two. Well, actually, at times, Ruby is a lot more impatient that Sapph, but mostly it's Sapph. And Hiei is ALWAYS impatient.

"What the hell is taking so long? It's not THAT hard to fill out a 5 question form, get a ticket and go." Sapphire growled and tapped her foot rapidly.

"Tell me about it." Hiei groaned and crossed his arms with a huff.

"Wanna play a game?" Sapphire suddenly asked a huge look of boredom on her face.

"Are you crazy?" Hiei asked with a glare. _Oh wait, never mind, she is_. He thought to himself.

"I heard that baka." she growled and rolled her eyes. Were boys so dense that they didn't remember that she could read minds? Who forgot something like that?

"ANYWAY" Sapphire said, glaring at the small one, "wanna play rock paper scissors or something? I'm bored and there are still 2 people infront of us."

Hiei gave her a look that said 'I-utterly-hate-you-and-my-answer-is-no'. Sapphire gave him an evil look that said 'I-have-ways-to-make-you-play.' Hiei groaned and nodded.

"Ichi, na, san, shu-to!" Sapphire announced and they picked their objects. Rocks. A draw.

"Ichi, na, san, shu-to!" Hiei said and they came up with a draw again. Paper. They didn't notice, but there was only one person infront of them.

"Grrr. Ichi, na, san, shu-to!" they both growled and they came up with a draw again of scissors.

"Shimatta!" they yelled in unison and were too involved in tieing angrily to notice that they were up to order tickets.

"Excuse me." the woman said at the counter.

They continued their game.

"I said EXCUSE me." the woman asked impatiently.

Again, they ignored her.

"EXCUSE ME!" she yelled and Hiei covered his human ears and Sapphire held down her panther ears.

((Remember, Sapphire is a panther demon. She can actually turn into anything she wants, elf, vampire, demon, human, etc. as can Ruby, but she almost ALWAYS is in the panther hanyou form with no human ears, panther ears and a panther tail. Thank you.))

"What?" they screamed.

"You're next in LINE." the woman asked irritated and the two sighed with 'finally'.

"5 tickets to San Diego, California, onegai." Sapphire said, pulling out her wallet.

"Uh sure…" the woman said. She was a full American; she doesn't understand what onegai or anything Japanese meant.

She handed Sapphire the tickets, and Sapphire handed the woman the money. Hiei and Sapphire then made their way through the line of ningens and over to the 3 who had reunited from either a magazine or the vending machine.

"Let's go!" Sapphire yelled as their flight was called to board. They all ran onto the platform, gave the man their tickets, and hopped on the plane.

IN THE JAIL CAFETERIA

Everybody was crowding Yusuke and Kuwabara as they sat down at a table. So far, this was the eighth time they moved their lunch spot.

"Leave us the hell alone! WE want to sit by OURSELVES." Yusuke growled shaking a finger at them.

"What, you mean you two are together?" one asked.

"EW NO!" they both yelled.

"Then we don't HAVE to leave you alone." another one said with a smirk.

"Uh, fine, we're the t word." Kuwabara said, Yusuke and him exchanging grossed-out glances.

"Prove it, then. Kiss each other on the lips." their original cellmate said.

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Yusuke shouted, falling off of the bench.

"WHAT HE SAID!" Kuwabara yelled.

"Again, then we don't have to move." another one said.

The boys sighed. They'd have to deal with these gay cross dressing weirdos. 'Cause no way in hell were THEY even hugging.

ON THE PLANE

"Oh, Danielle, I totally get what you're saying! Josh Hartnett is so hotter than Johnny Depp when he was younger." a dumb prep was saying to her friend on the phone. ((BTW, I think they are both ugly mother fuckers.))

Sapphire's eye was twitching madly as was Ruby's. They despised preppies. And this dumb mesuinu would not SHUT up! And something the girl just said set them off the wall.

"Yeah, those stupid Japs giving you problems? Haha! As if they could sing." was what came from her mouth.

The entire group of 5 nearly jumped at the girl's throat but Sapphire stopped them with an evil smirk.

Sapphire whispered something to Ruby while glancing at the others and at the girl and Ruby also got an evil smirk on her face.

Sapphire and Ruby, still with evil smirks on their face jumped into the aisle with the prep watching.

"Oh god." Inuyasha and Kurama groaned and held their foreheads.

"Ichi! Ni! Ichi, Ni, San!" Ruby shouted and Sapphire and she started singing:

"Summer days! I can't stand the summer days!  
Frozen cocktails and night fireworks  
what's so great about them anyway?  
Summer day, let it be some other day  
Seaside motels and sex on the beach  
don't be thinking I went all the way

I hate summer days!

Rushing down the traffic, to the beach,  
That's jammed for blocks and blocks  
They ain't getting nowhere,  
Still miles and miles left to go  
Strutting down the street, the girls,  
they try to impress their boyfriend to be  
I give up and don't try  
Every day is a bad hair day  
Guys, they come up with lame pick-up lines,  
Desperate to just get laid

Damn, give me a freaking break!

Summer days! I can't stand the summer days!  
Frozen cocktails and night fireworks  
what's so great about them anyway?  
Summer day, let it be some other day  
Seaside motels and sex on the beach  
don't be thinking I went all the way

Goddamn summer days!

Kate was the one, who said that life was made to be enjoyed  
Stop crinkling your face  
Everything will turn out okay  
Serving table to table up and down the isle  
Had on a face I'd never seen  
Whatever happened to her?  
Who has stolen your smiles away?

Who said that summer can brighten the mood of fate?  
Nothing is going to change

Damn, give me a freaking break!

Summer days! I can't stand the summer days!  
Frozen cocktails and night fireworks  
what's so great about them anyway?  
Summer day, let it be some other day  
Seaside motels and sex on the beach  
don't be thinking I went all the way

Who needs summer days...?

Summer days! They have never been the same  
once you left and were out of my sight  
leaving no trace behind  
summer day, why oh why on a summer day?  
You were gone without saying goodbye  
Taking it all away

No more summer days!"

They finished the song and a round of applause burst throughout the plane.

"Beat that you damn prep!" the two girls shouted in the dumb prep's face.

"Hmmph." she said and continued to talk on the phone.

Sapphire walked over to the flight attendant, first asked if they could indeed be the entertainment for the 9 hour plane ride and for two microphones. She thanked the attendant and walked backed over to Ruby, handing her a microphone.

"Should we drag Dagger and the rest of the girls here?" Ruby asked.

"Nah. This is the show Sappubi (sapph-ue-bee cross between Sapphire and Ruby style!" Sapphire said happily and high-fived Ruby.

((Don't worry, this is the last song I'm going to type up, and then I'll just get on with the story although the girls have 8 ½ more hours of performing to do.))

"Ichi! Ni! Go!" Sapphire shouted this time and the two girls began to sing a cute song which everybody gets annoyed of:

"Aitai na aenai na setsunai na kono kimochi  
ienai no iitai no  
CHANSU nogashite bakari

datte (datte) datte (datte)  
tsubasa hiroge futari de  
sora wo MARASON yume wo YUNIZON shitai

hora  
Catch You Catch You Catch Me Catch Me matte  
kotchi wo muite SUKI da to itte  
sou Nice to Meet You Good to See You kitto  
atashi no omoi anata no HA-TO ni  
tonde tonde tonde yuke  
ma - yo - wa - na - i

tama ni ne nakunatchau karada no BATTERI-  
anata no egao de  
itsumo juuden manTAN PAWA- bakuhatsu shichae

o-negai (o-negai) o-negai (o-negai)  
mazu wa o-tomodachi kara  
waratte mitsumete tanoshii mainichi ni shitai

hora  
Catch You Catch You Catch Me Catch Me ZETTAI  
unmei datte o-niai datte  
sou Nice to Meet You Good to See You kitto  
dare ni mo makenai anata ni sekai de  
ichiban ichiban ichiban ichiban  
KO - I - SHI - TE - 'RU

hora  
Catch You Catch You Catch Me Catch Me matte  
kotchi wo muite SUKI da to itte  
sou Nice to Meet You Good to See You kitto  
atashi no omoi anata no HA-TO ni  
tonde tonde tonde yuke  
ma - yo - wa - na - i

hora  
Catch You Catch You Catch Me Catch Me ZETTAI  
unmei datte o-niai datte  
sou Nice to Meet You Good to See You kitto  
dare ni mo makenai anata ni sekai de  
ichiban ichiban ichiban ichiban  
KO - I - SHI - TE - 'RU!"

They finished that song with another round of applause and whistling and so it went that way with them singing tons of different English and Japanese songs for the rest of the 8 and ¼ hour they had left. Surprisingly, these girls didn't get tired ONCE.

((I love both of those songs. If you want the mp3's just ask. I have many others, too, so don't be afraid to ask. A few more songs Sapphire and Ruby sang were: Ai no Uta, Shinjitsu no Uta, Ai no Uta (DIA version), Fruits Candy, Your Love Is A Drug, Love So Pure, Eien, Change The World, Every Heart(English version), Every Heart(Japanese version), and mannnnnnnny more!))

IN A CORNER ROCKING BACK AND FORTH IN A JAIL CELL

It was nighttime and everybody had to go into cells. INCLUDING the morons. But because nobody wanted to here the pansy-assed complaints, they got their own cell. The problem?

It was pretty small, and because the boys didn't want to go to the bathroom infront of gay people, let alone people themselves, so they were either about to piss themselves or constipated. I know; not a good thing to picture, eh?

GETTING OFF THE PLANE IN SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA, 8 ¼ HOURS LATER

Many ningens were congratulating Sapphire and Ruby and cheering them on and saying/waving goodbye as the girls departed the plane.

"Well, you guys are REALLY energetic." Hiei mumbled and went bulgy eyed as he discovered he was being…DUN, DUN, DUHHHH………..hugged!

He blushed but quickly said "What the hell? Get off of me!"

"Aww! Thanks Hiei! You've actually commented us!" Ruby squealed, hugging him

"I always knew he liked us." Sapphire said with a smirk and hugged Hiei tightly also only with her cheek pressed against his cheek.

((They are only doing this to piss the guys off. Yeah, ok, like I'd actually WANT to touch Hiei.))

"Rrrrr." A low growl emitted from Inuyasha and Youko.

"Heh, jealous are we?" Ruby said with a smirk. Sapphire walked over to a death-glaring-Hiei Inuyasha and wrapped her arms around his neck. Ruby did the same for Youko.

"No need to be jealous of that twerp." the girls whispered so that only their boyfriend could hear.

So after that little cuddly-goodness Kodak moment, the group of demons walked outside and onto the streets of San Diego, California. It was crowded with tons of shops and people.

"YES! SHOPPING SPREE!" the girls shouted and high-fived each other.

They were about to start running but their boyfriends grabbed them while Hiei watched in amusement.

"No!" Ruby screamed, kicking as she was pulled away by Youko Kurama.

"We wanna shop, damnit!" Sapphire shouted, also kicking while being pulled away by Inuyasha.

"LET us GO!" the girls shouted angrily.

"We need to get on with WHY we're here, dipkusos!" Inuyasha growled behind his shoulder.

"That can wait damnit!" Ruby and Sapphire shouted in unison. Have YOU ever been almost embarrassed publicly with your boyfriends DRAGGING you down the street? No? Then you obviously don't know what this feels like.

"We're going to need new clothes anyway from you dragging us!" Sapphire growled and her eye twitched as she sensed a plot coming from the looks Youko and Inuyasha were exchanging.

AWAKE TERRIFIED IN A JAIL CELL

Well, disgustingly enough, the guys eventually went to the bathroom but in a very dark corner so thankfully nobody saw. And thankfully this jail place had a flusher. ((Praise Hell!))

What was the problem now? Well, I suggest that you do NOT read the next bolded sentence. It's extremely disturbing and I'm disturbed even greater to be writing it.

**The problem was that the two gay cross dressers in the jail cell next to the guys seemed to have a liking to each other.** **Disturbing moans and kissing noises came from inside.**

"Uhh! My ears!" Kuwabara screamed!

"Oh, Come ON!" Yusuke pleaded disturbed, disgusted, and in shock.

THREE DEMONS AND TWO ANIMALS WALKING

Well, Youko and Inuyasha had put their plan into action. Although the girls have full access to changing and changing back from and into the animal forms, this time they couldn't for some odd reason. Maybe because the chains around the necks being used as collars and leash were made of the iron they couldn't eat?

So now it was Hiei, Inuyasha, and Youko upfront, walking and trying to find the San Diego Zoo. In the back of Inuyasha, who was holding a chain leash, was a chained black panther, hissing and growling at her boyfriend.

Behind Youko, who was also holding a chain leash, was a chained red with black tips fox, growling at her own boyfriend. Hiei was just enjoying the girl's torture.

"Finally!" Hiei groaned and pointed ahead. There was the San Diego Zoo! Now, they had already discussed a plan, and it wasn't to have the girls as animals, but they could go with the flow.

((UPDATE! I have recently discovered that currently the San Diego Zoo does not stock penguins, therefore let's pretend they do, ok?))

"Yes!" Inuyasha exclaimed and jumped forward as Sapphire scratched his ankle.

"Mesuinu." he muttered and the guys continued walking. They had an option of two plans.

Plan A was that they be like spies/bandits and sneak in and steal it. Plan B was that, since the girls were now animals, the guys would pretend they were donating the girls to the zoo and steal it.

Because Sapphire and Ruby had looked forward to plan A, but they were now animals, they had to go with plan B.

"Follow our lead." Inuyasha said, bending down to be eye level with Sapphire. She snorted and lowered her eyebrows. The look meant 'And why should I?' Inuyasha's eyes pleaded with her while he pet her ears.

"Onegai?" he said gently. Youko and Hiei snickered ahead of him.

"What are you assholes snickering about? Ruby can't hurt us nearly as much as Sapphire can, no offence Rubes but a panther is a lot more vicious and huge rather than a fox. Besides, I actually want to KEEP my girlfriend." Inuyasha growled and death-glared the guys who turned away.

It looked like the panther smiled and she nodded her head.

"Thanks koibito." Inu said gently and talked with the guys. Then in about five minutes they were all situated, knew the plan, and all 5 walked in…either on 2's or 4's.

"Hello, sir. We fine citizens not planning on doing anything against the law ('That's laying it on thick' Inuyasha whispered to Hiei) would like to donate these fine animals to this zoo. We'd like to look around the environment if that's ok." Youko announced with a smile and gestured towards the animals.

"Of course." said the man at the entrance, he smiled and then let them in.

Ruby started growling and squeaking, which in fox, meant 'Let's get moving! Are we splitting up?'

"Right. And, uh, are we?" Inuyasha said, and everybody turned to Sapphire.

Sapphire started to growl and roar, which meant, 'Uh, why are you looking at me?'

"Because basically you're the 'leader'. Hn." Hiei said and looked up.

Sapphire made an 'O' shape with her teeth showing and growled a 'Yes'. So the group started searching for the penguins.

BACK OUTSIDE DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE

((Yes, I know, I know. I've realized it too. For the main characters, it hasn't reached night yet. Or, well, actually, yeah it has because the gang stayed in the pool of money all night…but I didn't mentioned that….heh did me? But besides, the days for the two morons goes faster because…..they suck ass. Yeah! That's a good reason, right?))

"This sucks ass." Yusuke mumbled and groaned as the rock from yesterday STILL didn't break.

"Yeah I kno-OH MY GOD! LOOK! IT'S A FOUR-LEAF CLOVER!" Kuwabara shouted ((Loyal fans of D, E, AALTCL, you know where that part of line is from. ) ))

Yusuke sweatdropped and thought 'What a god damn moron.'

To the guys' dismay, that annoying stuff-our-faces-with-coffee-and-donuts bell went off and the guards retreated once again, and the boys jumped into the tree, once again. But the guards didn't come back for at least 3 hours.

3 HOURS LATER, STILL WALKING AROUND THE ZOO

"Holy hell! How long does it friggin' take to find damn penguins?" Inuyasha screamed, stomping his foot. They'd been searching for the past 3 hours for the little shitheads. They couldn't even track them with their awesome sense of hearing and smell!

The guys looked back at Sapphire and Ruby and sweatdropped as they were sprawled out on their stomachs, their 4 feet sticking straight out to their side.

"Tired?" Hiei smirked.

Sapphire glared at him, raise a side of her mouth ((remember, the girls are STILL animals incase some of you major dipkusos didn't follow)), showing a large, shiny, and sharp fang with a few smaller ones. The top of her mouth of which was open started twitching, and a series of low growls came out. In pantheranese ((my word!)), it meant 'And HUNGRY, too.'

Hiei looked away and slowly took a step back. Youko had, since the past hour, returned to Kurama.

"Gentlemen, I have an idea." Kurama said and looked over at them.

"Listening." Hiei and Inuyasha said.

"How about ASKING one of the workers here? Surely they know where its located." he said with a sweatdrop.

"Ugh!" came Hiei, Inuyasha, Sapphire, and Ruby's either growl or squeak as they fell over anime style.

"Why the hell didn't you mention that before?" Hiei said through gritted teeth as he jumped back on his feet.

Kurama shrugged and walked over to a woman feeding seals.

"Excuse me miss. Where are the penguins located?" Kurama asked with a smile.

"Oh, uh………..ummm…...wait, I know this…….um…..god, is this a trick question?" the woman asked stupidly. No, she wasn't joking, she was really an idiot as much as Kuwabara. Never thought you'd see that.

Kurama sweatdropped about 80 times and the others snickered with sweatdrops flying as well.

Kurama, for once, didn't thank her and walked back over to the group, a little embarrassed.

"Heh, didn't work, eh?" Inuyasha said through a smirk as the others continued to chuckle and or roar-squeak-giggle.

"Shut it." Kurama said angrily and folded his arms across his chest.

"I'll help you." came a voice infront of them. It was a man with his wife and child.

"Yes, dearies, the penguins are 19 cages on both sides this way." his wife said, and pointed ahead of them.

"DONO ARIGATO!" the guys shouted and raced over in that direction, the girls trying their best to claw the ground.

So here they were. Infront of 56 penguins…in a very chilly area. It was chilly especially to Ruby and Hiei, them being related to fire. Inuyasha and Kurama were also cold. Sapphire was enjoying the nice breeze, seeings as darkness associates with ice.

"Uh, let's hurry up and get in there before somebody sees us….this area is completely empty." Inuyasha said and everybody nodded.

"Who's going in?" Hiei asked and faced the four.

They had dumb-founded looks on their faces and looked from one another. Ruby and Sapphire stood up on their hind legs and makes X's with their front paws. That was a no because they were animals.

Hiei was refusing to go because, well, he's a lazy assed shrimp. So that left Inuyasha and Kurama to go together.

Kurama and Inuyasha looked around before trying to door at the back of the penguin habitat. Locked.

"Inuyasha?" Kurama asked.

"Pleasure to." Inuyasha said with a smirk, cracking his knuckles. He punched the door open with ease, and as they stepped in, he put it back up so the penguins couldn't escape.

"Let's get started. I'll hold up the ones on that side, and you take that side." Kurama suggested and they got to work.

Hiei had since gotten a soda and was drinking that, despite the cold winds blowing. Ruby and Sapphire, through animal talk, discussed if the penguins they held up were right or not, but always came up with a no.

Panting and on their butts on the ground with their hands holding them up were Inu and Kura.

"Are there any more?" Kurama panted.

"I don't think so." Inuyasha said and coughed.

Sapphire and Ruby scanned the area and spotted one their boyfriends did indeed miss. It was a lot smaller than the rest of the penguins, probably a baby.

Sapphire and Ruby made paw motions in the direction of it. Kurama and Inuyasha were confused and looked at each other, then in the direction of paw movement.

It was a baby penguin!

"That one?" Inuyasha said, turning to his cat girlfriend.

"Roar." Sapphire said with a nod.

"K." Inuyasha said with a sigh of relief, ran over to the penguin, picked it up, busted down the door once again with his free hand, and made his way over to everybody. Kurama, meanwhile, put the door back in place and joined the group.

"Got it?" Hiei asked bored.

"You're one to say anything. You didn't even help." Inuyasha snorted and looked at the baby penguin who started biting Inuyasha's hair.

"Let go!" he demanded and tried taking the penguin off. That move was fatal, the penguin just bit harder.

"Teme! Get off!" Inuyasha shouted and tugged at the penguin's feet, causing himself more pain.

Sapphire focused as hard as she could and her paw and Ruby's pall touched the Spirit Gem. Within 5 minutes they became their somewhat human like forms.

"Thank the stars!" Sapphire shouted and ran over to Inuyasha.

"Bad Inu." she said with a frown and gently took the penguin in hands. "Aww! Herbert! You're adorable!" she squealed, Ruby joining in.

"Hey, can we leave?" Hiei asked, pointing down the aisle at 5 police officers and 2 managers running up there. "Yeah." Sapphire said quickly. She handed Ruby Herbert and touched the Spirit Gem once again, and everybody did the same.

They disappeared just as the police guys and managers caught up with them.

BACK AT SAPPHIRE'S HOUSE

"I know, I know. Why didn't I do that before? I wanted an adventure!" Sapphire giggled as Hiei gave her a 'Why-didn't-you-transport-us-like-this-before?' look.

"Hn." he said and crossed his arms, looking down as Sapphire and Ruby played with the penguin.

"And how, exactly, do you plan to take care of it? Doesn't it need to go to Alaska or something?" Hiei said.

"Have you ever been in Sapphire's basement?" Ruby asked, looking up from petting Herbet.

"No…….." Hiei trailed off.

"Well okay then." she said and picked Herbert up and they all went into Sapphire's basement. It was BELOW 0 degrees in there. Perfect for a penguin. There was ice and everything, even a fishing pond with live fish.

"Wha?" Hiei asked astonished.

"Exactly. We've seen it already." Inuyasha said and stared with a sweatdrop as the girls started skating with the penguin on the ice.

Ruby and Sapphire collided into each other while baby Herbert snickered in penguin but made sure his mommies were ok.

Kurama shook his head and sweatdropped as Inuyasha and Hiei also collided.

**END OF THE FRIGGIN CHAPTER DAMNIT!**

Sapphire: Holy kuso that was LOOOOOONNNNNNNNNGGG.

Hiei: I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're right.

Inuyasha: If she doesn't update in a while, it's because of her 4 projects.

Sapphire: Yeah, school sucks ass. All my projects will be over by May 27, so hopefully I'll be able to update by then.

Hiei: Review damnit.


	3. 3 Destroying The Evil Fuzzle Bunnies in ...

**50 THINGS TO DO BEFORE WE PERISH**

Chapter 3: 3. Destroy the Evil Fuzzle Bunnies in 'The Closet'

Sapphire: -pouts- Not many reviews….grr, you meanies. I gave you a 24-page chapter and I get like, 8 reviews? You hate me, don't you -cries-

Inuyasha: -sweatdrops- She's thankful you reviewed, but expected a tiny bit more.

Hiei: No, they hate her.

Inuyasha: Why are you rude to her?

Hiei: She's ignorant to me.

Inuyasha: Oh, and your precious, right?

Hiei: Exactly.

Sapphire: -sniff, sniff- Sapphire belongs to me (sapphire-glass); Ruby belongs to Ruby (one owner of griffen-gal); InuYasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi; Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. Thanks -coughrobascough-

Inuyasha: Oh, and she pulled an all-nightter with Ruby, coming up with 16 fanfiction ideas. Look for them! One of them is posted……rather embarrassing…..

REVIEW REVIEWERS:

Griffen-gal: You're so lucky I'm a nice and diluted person and that I let you on my computer for the purposes of your own and the sanity of me because I need you to review, Shimatta! shifty eyes Yes, I updated. whispers unlike some people. Lol, j/k……..or am I? more shifty eyes Yes, there were 64 curses…….lol. Sayonara!

Kahlel: I know. Hiei? Well, that reason will remain to myself. But he is short and its fun to down the little people although you gotta love the little diluted freaks. Lol! I'm trying! Damn projects! Ugh!

Aaya: Lol. Thanks so much! I try to be. Ruby says I am 'The All-Knowing Funny'.

Kaegoe: Lol! I got that joke. That's hilarious! Yusuke's a pansy. Down right and full throttle pansy. Aww, I feel bad. Lol. Poor girl; somewhat resembling Yusuke. Well, Yusuke is too much of an idiot to USE the Spirit Gun. That's a funny idea, but I have these all planned out. I have an entire list. That's why I don't get writer's block for this story………okay, no that's a lie, but it prevents a lot of writer's block.

MEDIAMINER REVIEWERS:

DeathLady: Glad you liked it! Yay, you're so spiffyful! K, I did.

Drof Tceferp: I don't find him attractive is all. I did at one point in time for about a day, but then I didn't anyways. Lol. Um…who's 'Kara-chan'? You mean 'Kura-chan'? As in Kurama?

inuyasha-lovers: I'm very happy you liked it!

inuyasha-lovers: Yay! Two reviews from you! I love you! huggles I.L to death Glad you liked it and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well! Pointless funny is awesome!

((Actually you know, all in all, 8 reviews are really good! But I had that whole thing written out when I had only 2 reviews after like, a week and it was funnyish so I don't want to change it so NEH!.))

Sapphire: I need new people! You're all mean!

Hiei: Psh. I don't want to be here.

Inuyasha: Mesuinu….

Sapphire: 0.0 KUTABARE!

Hiei and Inuyasha: 0.0

Kurama magically appears

Kurama: Don't use that language!

Sapphire: Oh great, HE'S the new author's note guy?

**ON TO THE CHAPTER NOW DAMNIT! STOP READING THIS FRIGGIN **

**DIVIDER!**

Well, now that the retards decided 'wouldn't it be smart if we got OFF of the ice so we don't slip and fall on our asses?', they were all upstairs either in the living room or in the kitchen.

Kurama, being the only one with enough brain cells to calculate NOT to go and fall on his ass, was in the kitchen preparing 4 large ice packs. Herbert was snickering to himself in penguinese down in the iced basement.

Ruby started to see purple dots wherever she looked; she looked at Sapphire.

"Holy hell! You've got moles or something! AH! A MOLE PERSON!" she screamed in shock, pointing at her.

The morons are still facing aftershock of the collision, take note.

Sapphire's eye began to twitch.

"Well, at least I didn't turn into Bob the Builder in a matter of minutes!" she screamed, and rubbed her head from the delusions the crash had caused.

"Oh no! I'm Bob! The! Builder? I build shit? NO!" she screamed and fell on the floor.

"Stop screaming you noodles! Ohhh, ramen!" Inuyasha screamed happily and jumped up from his couch.

"AGH! A MUTANT CAREBEAR!" they screamed, pointing and huddling together in fear. They then jumped up and started up the 8 flights of stairs again.

"HUNGRY INU!" Inuyasha growled and pulled out an anonymously placed pair of chopsticks.

"I'm surrounded by Bob the Builder who turns into a noodle, a moled person who turns into a noodle, and a mutant carebear?" Hiei asked confused as hell.

"Apparently so, Hiei." Kurama said with a weak smile and handed Hiei an ice pack.

For a moment, Hiei went cross-eyed and SWORE he saw Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog.

"Holy hell!" he screamed and grabbed for his katana but it wasn't there.

"Kuso! You took it!" he yelled and went running for the stairs. And, as if some magical person was planning this all out from the desk and keyboard of her computer, Hiei ran into a wall. Kurama sweatdropped.

**IN COMMUNITY SERVICE**

A news reporter stood with the microphone at her mouth. She started speaking:

"Hello, this Is Judy Patooty and here's today's news. In a conveniently close jail/community service center, there was a disturbance. A young male with overly gelled hair and a boy with an orange dead animal on his head ---oh, wait, what's that? It's his HAIR? Ok…… And a boy with orange ""hair"" were found on the highest branch of a tree in the community service arena.

"Apparently they had been hiding up there from gay cross-dressing cellmates; however guards say it's because they are pansy BEEPed BEEPwipes. As far as we know, these guys are being bailed out soon enough by a little baby named Koenma. Stay tuned for further information." with that Judy ended her broadcast and the camera closed up on Yusuke and Kuwabara cowering and crying up in the tree………heh, morons.

**TIED UP IN SEPARATED CHAIRS**

Kurama had since turned into his fox form only to have the girls scream that he was 'a rabist raccoon. He then had chased the 'noodled Bob the Builder and noodled Mole Person' downstairs also transforming back, and tieing them in a chair together. He then had to turn Youko to get Inuyasha, or better know to the 'noodles' as 'the mutated Carebear'. Then back to his normal….or somewhat normal self, dragging Hiei over to the couch by his foot.

So now the girls were tied together in a chair struggling to get away from either a Mole Person or Bob the Builder. Inuyasha was strapped down by leather belts in a corner trying to desperately eat the noodles. Hiei was just gaining consciousness stuffed in between pillows on the couch so he couldn't move.

If you are ever in Hiei's position, I truly feel bad for you. It's not always easy getting out of those damned things.

"So, are we going to calm DOWN now?" Kurama asked the four, placing a tray with 5 steaming cups of green tea down on the living room table.

"Sure Tails." Ruby said happily. Hiei had since also informed them all that Kurama was Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog; the girls had informed them that Kurama was a rabist racoon.

Kurama groaned and handed a cup of tea to each of them.

"I would have thought that at least Hiei wouldn't have been disoriented by this act of stupidity." Kurama said with a sigh, taking a sip of his own tea.

"Oh yeah? WELL YOUR MONKEY'S A WALRUS! ((That line is from Dreamchasereternity's story))" Inuyasha yelled.

"AND YOUR SHOE IS A HAM SANDWICH!" Ruby screamed.

"AND YOUR PICKLE'S A CUCOMBER!" Sapphire chorused in.

"AND YOUR BANANA IS A TURTLE!"

"AND YOUR CHICKEN IS A FLOWER!"

"OH YEAH, WELL YOUR CHICKEN IS A TURKEY!"

"AND YOUR PENNY'S NAME IS JENNY!"

"Enough!" Kurama yelled, his eyes twirling from all the nonsense comebacks. Here is what his eyes obviously looked like:

"You're a flower!" Hiei yelled suddenly with a blank expression.

**IN THE OFFICE OF…..SOME REALLY UGLY POLICE DUDE**

"Alright, little guy, where's your dad?" the police officer asked a little midget who had a pacifier in his mouth.

"I AM NOT A 'LITTLE GUY'!" Koenma yelled, his pacifier coming out of his mouth.

"Sure, whatever kid. You can't bail them losers out unless an adult is present." the police officer said with an icky smile.

Koenma threw down his doll…I mean his "action figure" he was holding and glared at the police officer.

"I AM NO CHILD! I'M A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON IN MAKAI AND REKAI!" Koenma yelled, his face turning red from anger and embarrassment.

"Sure, sure. Here's your little dolly." the police officer said with a laugh, handing Koenma the "action figure".

"IT'S AN ACTION FIGURE!" Koenma yelled in frustration.

"Since when was Malibu Barbie an action figure?" The officer asked holding back a laugh and raising an eyebrow.

"SHE'S A COLLECTORS ITEM!" he wailed and stomped out of the office mumbling.

**THREE HOURS LATER, STILL AT SAPPHIRE'S HOUSE**

Everyone had since become less hyper. The four had stopped being delusional and were all functioning normally; Hiei was 'Hn'ing to himself for no apparent reason and was planning the deaths of Yusuke and Kuwabara.

Inuyasha was eating ramen; Ruby was obsessing over a chibi Kurama picture ((Rubes, you know what pic I'm talking about! Readers, if you want the picture, email me!)). Kurama had never been hallucinating; Sapphire was busy cursing off a random GameBoy game.

"KUTABARE, YU- BAKA KYOUGI!" Sapphire screamed at the game and threw it against the wall. Before it fell to the floor she summoned a dark energy orb from her finger and shot it at the GameBoy; needless to say, there WAS no more GameBoy.

"Nice." Ruby said with a smirk, and put her Youko Chibi picture away.

Hiei was trying hard not to laugh, but it showed he wanted to. Inuyasha was cracking up slightly with a smirk; Kurama looked something like this: 0.0

Kurama remained like that: 0.0 while everybody else cracked up (OMFG! The end of the world is here! I told you! But you all denied it! Its proof! HIEI is laughing!) at Kurama's wide-eyed expression; everybody except Sapphire who was crossing her arms and glaring at them.

"-LAUGH-Heh, anyways -LAUGH- why don't we move onto the next thing on the list?" Ruby said through her hand which was desperately trying to hide her laughter because Sapphire was death glaring HER specifically for some reason. The reason? Maybe she just likes to scare the shit out of Ruby and knows she could easily hurt her? Hmm…yeah, that's it.

"Sure." Hiei said simply, stopping his own laughter and pulling the list out of a random couch.

Sapphire's gaze went blank and she went into her own thoughts, ignoring the annoying bakas.

"Holy hell! How'd you DO that?" Ruby asked astonished, seeing the list was no longer in her pocket.

"I have ways." he said, trying frantically to ignore her and read off the list. "4. Destroy the Evil Fuzzle Bunnies in the Closet?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That can't work." Sapphire said out of nowhere. She looked up from her thoughts to see everyone eyeing her. Either like this: 0.o, this: o.o, or still like this: 0.0 depending who it was.

"Well, Ruby's closet is full of clothes and random stuffed animals, and fuzzle bunnies HATE stuffed animals. My closet is packed together, so the fuzzle bunnies would have died or not have been able to get inside in the first place. Inuyasha and Hiei HAVE no closets because they live basically in trees. Finally, Kurama is too much of a neat-freak to have fuzzle bunnies and he's stuck in that wide-eyed position so he can't help anyways." she explained matter-of-factly.

Hiei, Inuyasha, and Ruby exchanged glances, and then nodded knowingly. Kurama was still in his wide-eyed expression.

"I know a way to get him out of that trance." Sapphire said with an evil smirk. She showed everybody the heel of her boots; very sharp.

Ruby's eyes bugged out. She stood protectively infront of Kurama.

"No way, not uh! You can't do that to him unless he deserves it!" she yelled defensively and clomped onto Kurama.

"Fine. We'll go the 'lovey dovey morons' way." Sapphire said with a sigh.

Inuyasha and Hiei had gotten popcorn and were watching the presentation.

"Hey, what IS the 'lovey dovey morons' way anyway?" Inuyasha asked. He knew he'd been told before; let's just say nobody in this story besides Hiei or Kurama has a good memory. -.-U

"You'll see." Hiei said and they watched as Sapphire nodded at Ruby. Ruby squealed with happiness and kissed Kurama on the cheek. He instantly blushed and snapped out of his daze.

"Does she know how to fix EVERTHING?" Hiei asked Inuyasha, referring to Sapphire.

"Just about." he said with a shrug and he threw the popcorn at Kurama. Kurama glared.

"That was for?" he asked annoyed.

"I felt like throwing something." Inuyasha said with a smirk; Hiei and Sapphire smirked as well. Ruby narrowed her eyes. She picked up a piece of popcorn and summoned a small fire pistol on her finger. She lit the popcorn on fire and pegged it at Inuyasha.

"HOLY HELL!" he screamed and was about to jump out of the way but the flamed popcorn stopped infront of his face with a black circle surrounding it. Good ol' Sapph-chan to the rescue.

"OH come ON Sapphire! He threw popcorn at Kurama! It's only fair." Ruby said with a frown, stomping her foot once.

"I don't care if he threw Kuwabara at Kurama. You do not touch my Inu. Only I can. And before you start snickering pervs, I don't mean THAT way." Sapphire said with a glare and chucked 5 kernels at Inuyasha; direct hit.

"ITAI! WHAT THE HELL?" he yelled and rubbed his eye. Sapphire shrugged him off and took the list from Hiei.

"There's a restaurant called 'The Closet', isn't there?" she asked, turning to face them all and looked up from the list.

"Um…….oh! Yeah! We went there when they had the Kurama cookies in-stock and…………………" Ruby said and blushed as everybody looked at her like this: 0.o

"Um, never mind." she said quickly and looked away.

"Riiiiiiiiiiight." Inuyasha said and looked up, rolling his eyes.

"Ok, well, most likely, we'll have to go to 'The Closet' and defeat whatever fuzzle bunnies are there." Kurama said, resting his chin on his knuckle.

"Off to 'The Closet'!" Ruby shouted. Everybody stood up.

"Alright, lead the way." Hiei said to Sapphire and Ruby. They stopped and looked at each other then at the guys.

"Aren't we leaving?" Inuyasha asked impatiently.

"Uh, yes?" Ruby asked, playing dumb. (Not very hard for her to do though. Aww, Rubes, ya know I wove ya!)

"Well then let's get moving." Kurama said, looking serious.

"Um, what if we said we didn't know how to get there?" Sapphire asked while she and Ruby sweatdropped. Everybody else fell over anime style.

"WHAT?" Inuyasha yelled.

"Well, we haven't BEEN there for a while….." Ruby said with another sweatdrop.

"Baka ningens…" Hiei growled.

"Hey, we are NOT humans!" Sapphire and Ruby yelled.

"Oh well. You are psychotic and idiotic." he said with an 'Hn'.

"Oh, we love you too Hiei." Sapphire said sarcastically.

"But it might be wise for you guys to transform into your human forms?" Kurama suggested.

"What? Why!" Ruby and Sapphire screamed in unison.

"Ningens…." Hiei muttered.

"That hasn't stopped them before." Inuyasha reminded him.

"Just do it. And put a concealment spell on Inuyasha." Kurama insisted and with groans they did.

Sapphire cast a dark spell so Inuyasha's ears disappeared until the curse was broken.

Sapphire's ears, tail, and hair changed. Her tail and ears disappeared. She grew ningen ears, long blue hair, and her eyes changed from silver to just Forest Green.

Ruby's ears, tail, and hair changed as well. Her ears and tail disappeared; she grew ningen ears and her hair went from short and red to long and red. Her eyes went from brick red to brown.

"Good." Kurama said, and with that, they all left the house in a random attempt to find 'The Closet'.

AT ANOTHER ATTEMPT TO BREAK OUT THE BAKAS

Koenma was now in his teenaged form. He had been beyond pissed when he left that first police officers office of hellish doom. But there was a different shift now. And holy hell, Kuwabara has a TWIN! Shield your eyes people!

A really stupid looking police officer sat at his desk with a goofy expression on his face and had his finger up his nose.

"Hello. I understand that you wouldn't let my son come in to bail out his friends?" Koenma asked, glaring.

"Uh………………………………………………………." The officer said and spit started to come out of the corner of his mouth.

Koenma snapped his fingers in the officer's face and he snapped out of it, and knocked himself unconscious with a nearby empty bottle of Whisky.

Koenma sweatdropped and took the keys out of the retards pocket. Koenma walked down the aisles until he came to one cell that was cell # 'W3AR31D10T5' and he stopped.

"Got any tractors?" Kuwabara asked.

"OH I GIVE UP!" Yusuke yelled and threw his cards on the floor. Even HE had enough common intelligence to know that there were no tractors in 'Go Fish'.

"Having fun?" Koenma asked with a smile. ((What a cornball! Who smiles at THOSE freaks?))

"Thank kami!" Yusuke screamed and ran over to the cell door waiting to be let out.

"URAMESHI! I SAID DO YOU HAVE ANY TRACTORS?" Kuwabara shouted at him, still involved with the nonexistent game of 'Go Fish.'

"We're leaving you idiot!" Yusuke growled and Kuwabara joined him. They started bouncing up and down infront of the door.

_I wonder if they need to use the lavatory_, Koenma thought, searching to find the correct key. He finally found it and unlocked the door.

"You should know better. Next time, I will not bail you out." Koenma said to them with a frown.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever!" They cried in excitement. Koenma let them out and they walked away from the prison/jail/community service centery thingy.

"So, where are we going?" Yusuke asked.

"We left?" Kuwabara asked. Koenma and Yusuke sweatdropped then decided to ignore him.

"We are going to the park on Thinklethorpe Ave." Koenma informed, looking straight ahead.

"Why?" Yusuke asked.

"HAHA! THAT'S A FUNNY NAME!" Kuwabara shouted and started to laugh.

"ANYWAY," Koenma said, sighing at Kuwabara, "If my calculations are correct, Sapphire, Kurama, and the rest of the gang are in that park deciding where to go to get to 'The Closet'."

Yusuke and Kuwabara went wide-eyed and stopped.

"Is there a problem?" Koenma asked, turning to face them.

"Hell yeah!" Yusuke shouted, waving his hands in the air.

"And that would be…?" Koenma asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sapphire is there! Hello! She's evil!" They shouted in fear and in unison.

"Well, she is the element of Darkness………" Koenma stated.

"Yeah, AND, Ruby's her little tag-team partner! They have issues!" They both chorused in yet again.

"Oh, well, you have no choice." Koenma stated, and Botan appeared with her oar.

"Hello everyone!" she said cheerfully.

"Who died?" Kuwabara asked suddenly.

"Nobody, Kuwabaka. Ooops! I'm sorry! I mean Kuwabara; that one slipped! I'm here to take you to the park! Come on!" she stated and they transported elsewhere.

((I forget how that works. -.-UU Sorry if it's incorrect of how she "transports" peoples…..))

**AT THE PARK…..EITHER WALKING IN CIRCLES, TORTURING A BUG, MOPING ON THE GRASS, OR BANGING THEIR HEAD AGAINST A TREE**

Alright, you see the divider. Let me explain who was doing what……or maybe I won't…….Ahh, I'll take up space and explain.

Kurama was moping on the grass. Hiei and Inuyasha were torturing the bug. Ruby was banging her head against a tree, and Sapphire was the culprit that was walking around in circles……..all of them, surprisingly even the girls, were thinking of where to go next.

"Anything?" Kurama asked Sapphire as she fell on her butt from walking around in circles too long; causing her to get dizzy.

"Besides the fact that my ass now hurts and I'm dizzy as hell, no." Sapphire stated coldly.

Kurama looked to Ruby.

"Ow, head hurts much." she whined and little birdies flew around her head.

"Pretty birds. Yes you are, yes you are!" Sapphire said sarcastically and flopped down from her butt to her back. Inuyasha turned around and Sapphire looked at him from upside down.

She smiled and got an 'obsessive fangirl' smile on her face. "AWW! SO KAWAII EVEN FROM UPSIDE DOWN!" she squealed then stopped herself and closed her eyes. Way too like Ruby.

Inuyasha blushed and glared at Hiei who was smirking and then flopped down next to Sapphire.

"Hey." he said.

"Hey." she replied.

"Hello." a familiar and unwanted voice rang out.

"No…..frickin'…..way……" Sapphire and Ruby said in shock at the same time, looking at each other like this: 0.0.

"Oh yes frickin' way." Inuyasha groaned and stood up as well as the others.

"Well, I'll be leaving." Botan said nervously, rubbing the back of her head as 5 death glares came her way. She instantly disappeared.

"Why are you here? I want to know, and I want to know now." Sapphire growled, shooting daggers at Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"Lovely to see you too, kitty cat." Yusuke said, trying to sound "cool".

"Kitty cat needs a new scratching post, Yusuke." Sapphire said with a smirk and evil look in her eyes and showed her sharp claws.

"Heheh! Hey, you guys look human….." Yusuke said, laughing nervously and taking 3 large steps away from the panther demon.

"Well, it wasn't our choice." Ruby mumbled, and pointed her thumb behind her, over her shoulder at Kurama. He shrugged and walked over to greet the newcomers.

"I can somewhat stand that idiot. But did Botan HAVE to bring Kuwabara?" Inuyasha groaned and flopped back down on the ground Indian style.

Hiei sighed heavily. Everybody knew he was more than willing to slice BOTH of them in half. Unfortunately, the authoress needs the bakas to torture them and make the fic more humorous, so he willst not doith the deedith!

"So, what are you guys doing?" Yusuke asked.

"Yeah." Kuwabara agreed. Agreed…..? Agreed with WHAT?

"Okay, who's doing the recap?" Kurama asked, facing the original gang consisting of Inuyasha, Sapphire, and Ruby.

They all pointed at Hiei.

"I wasn't here for the first activity." He said blankly.

Then they looked at each other, and then pointed randomly. Sapphire pointed at Kurama, Inuyasha pointed at Sapphire, and Ruby pointed at Inuyasha.

Kurama sweatdropped. "Still isn't helping………" he said, shaking his head with his hand on his forehead.

Then the three pointed at Yusuke.

"What the hell? I asked YOU what happened!" he yelled.

Ruby looked around at stood up. She pointed at a person in a pink fish outfit with green spiky hair.

"You!" Sapphire and Ruby yelled; Sapphire had stood up since.

"Blub!" the "fish" yelled, and started wiggling away.

"Let's get 'im!" Ruby yelled.

"Sappubi style!" Sapphire yelled, and the elemental sisters gave each other a high-five.

((pronounced: sapph-oo-bee))

And as fast as their human form legs would carry them, they caught up with the fish guy and beat him up. Then they quickly wrote index cards and made him read what happened.

"Blub. Fine, blub. Ok, blub. Well, blub…" the guy started off.

Inuyasha threw a rock at the fish guy's head. The fish guy glared.

"You ain't a fish, so talk normal!" he growled.

The fish hmmph'd and continued. "Well, after the bakas went to jail from their own purposes, the two girls and two boys went to a park. A crazed hobo came up to them and told them that they would soon perish. And oddly enough after he ran away, the four found a list of 51 things to do before they did indeed perish. They found a disturbing one, so they shortened it to only 50 things.

The first mission was to rob an armed hair salon. It took them a while, but they found one after running away from Sapphire shooting a guy in the eye with a rock. Anyway, they spent a few hours battling with the women, coughsluttyprepscough at the hair salon, 'A La Prep'. They won the battle, obviously, and went to Sapphire's house.

The second mission, not too long ago, Hiei joined the gang. They went to San Diego to steal a baby penguin and they ended up naming him Herbert. Well, they did that after the girls almost clawed each others eyes out. And now they are trying to find their way to 'The Closet' to destroy the evil fuzzle bunnies." he finished and looked at the girls.

They nodded and he jumped into a nearby, randomly place lake and tried swimming away. No such luck; he sunk to the bottom.

The group of now 7 stared at the lake, bubbles coming up then stopping.

"OkKkk then……………." Ruby trailed off and looked at Kurama. He shrugged. Then Kurama looked at Hiei. He raised an eyebrow. Hiei looked at Sapphire. Sapphire put her fingers on the right side of her forehead and coming out, she turned her hand (that's the sign fro 'don't know'…duh, sign language. -.-U I'm bad at explaining). Sapphire looked at Inuyasha. He looked up and then turned to Yusuke. Yusuke shrugged and shook his head. Then he looked at Kuwabara. Nobody cares what Kuwabara did…..but then he looked at Sapphire.

"OW! OW MY BLEEPING EYES! THEY BURN! HELP!" she screamed, pointing one finger at Kuwabara then covering her watering eyes with her other hand.

(Sapphire: What the hell? Why'd you bleep me out!

Sapphire the authoress: Because it be a bad word, Mon.)

Kurama, Ruby, and Inuyasha rushed over to Sapphire to help her eyes. Hiei sweatdropped. Yusuke pointed and laughed at Kuwabara.

"It's not funny………how would you like looking like me?" Kuwabara said in near tears.

"I WOULDN'T! YOU'RE TOO UGLY!" Yusuke screamed laughing, and started rolling on the floor.

"Damn you Kuwabara and your ugliness." Inuyasha growled and picked Sapphire up bridal style, whom had bandages on her eyes.

"Kutabare! Baka kisama! Chihead! Kuso yu-!" Sapphire screamed. Kurama had heard it once before, so he didn't go wide-eyed but he quickly lectured on to not use those words.

"You didn't have Thing 1 look at you!" Sapphire hissed and Kurama took a step back, laughing nervously.

"Can we please get on with finding 'The Closet'?" Hiei asked with a groan.

"THIS IS A SERIOUS INJURY!" Sapphire and Ruby yelled at the same time. They looked at each other, either throw bandaged or no bandaged eyes, and laughed.

((Rubes, you know what THAT'S from! Aww, R.I.P. POH!))

"Whatever." Hiei sighed with an 'Hn'.

"Alright……..hey……doesn't that sign say 'The Closet'…right there?" Kurama asked, pointing down the street from the park.

"Yeah, it does! Finally!" Inuyasha said happily.

"You must be kidding me…..THAT BLEEPING RESTURANT WAS DOWN THE STREET FROM YOUR HOUSE?" Hiei growled.

((Yes, he was bleeped out as well. He may never say things like that, but he is very mad, you see.))

"Well, how were we supposed to remember Sapphire lives right next to a park and there's a restaurant down from that?" Ruby asked, holding her hands up in defence.

"Let's go already." Sapphire yelled, and took off her bandage. Her tape (the tape line around your eyes) was now all red.

"Hey, we match! Well…..if I wasn't in my human form we would…." Ruby said.

"NOO! MY BEAUTIFULL FOREST GREEN BUT REALLY SILVER WITH A LITTLE HINT OF FOREST GREEN EYES! TEME! YOU DID THIS!" Sapphire yelled at Kuwabara after she saw her eyes in a mirror on the ground.

"And before his ugliness further blinds me, I'm looking away and leaving……" Sapphire trailed off and ran towards 'The Closet'. The rest of them followed, except Kuwabara. Although his ugliness is the biggest defense against ANYTHING and ANYBODY, he is too fascinated and amazed that the 'magical' bubbles disappeared. Moron.

Announcer Guy: And that's the end!

Authoress: NO IT ISN'T, KISAMA!

Authoress: whacks announcer guy with candle holder

Announcer Guy: X.X

Authoress: And now, back to our featured presentation!

So, the gang, not consisting of Kuwabara who will eventually have to join them at the end of the chapter for more bashing, continued walking in the direction of the restaurant.

Suddenly, gasp, a mutant war hamster ran them all over with a tractor from Kuwabara's version of 'Go Fish'! It's so damn tragic! How could I do this to them? Why? Why?

clears throat Okay, sorry for that; had to get it out of my system. Here's what REALLY happened.

Suddenly, there was an explosion from the restaurant, and the right side of the roof blew up.

"Oh no! Men, we must get there in time." Ruby said, her mouth moving out of place to the words; like it happens in the old, old movies.

"The restaurant is being attack-ed." Sapphire said.

"Stop damn-ed person so we may talk regular!" Inuyasha said, in a false nice and out of placed voice.

Fine.

"Now that's better!" Inuyasha growled, and they all ran demon speed to the restaurant…..but Kurama had to grab on to somebody random because at the moment, Youko was being a lazy bastard and didn't want to take over. And Yusuke was left walking.

They stopped infront of the restaurant as the owner came out, all scratched, bruised, and their clothes torn.

"Okay, now, Kurama, I understand you needed a ride here because Youko is lazy, and I'm okay with that, but now can you GET THE HELL OFF OF MY BACK?" Sapphire yelled, making Kurama fall on the floor on his butt with his eyes like this: .

"Um, sorry." Kurama said with a small blush and Ruby pointed and laughed at him.

"Ha, you got yelled at by the evil one!" she giggled and instantly had a mood swing and turned to the owner.

"Well, what are you waiting for? A ningen holiday? Tell us what we have to do." Hiei said impatiently, tapping his foot on the ground. Aww, he's so womanly. U

"Gomen……that is right, right? I don't speak Japanese." the owner asked, looking at all 5…..""Teens"". Since tec., Sapphire and Ruby are beyond teenage years. Inuyasha is tec. 500, and Rumiko Takahashi says he's meant to be 15 in the anime/manga…….And Youko side of Kurama is like, what, 300? And KURAMA is about 15, and I have no idea about Hiei…….so they actually aren't teens…….Well, Sapph and Ruby are in their teenaged human forms, so Alrighty then. But duh, they are all Japanese……well, except the girls, they are ¾ Japanese.

"Somewhat, yes. Anyway, are we going that way?" Kurama asked, pointing at the doors.

"Yes, but before you do, let me explain the situation." the owner said and motioned for them to sit down.

"Sit down on what, our asses?" Inuyasha yelled.

"Ooops…….just stand then." the owner said, embarrassed, and started the tale.

"Alright, well, about a week ago, evil fuzzle bunnies started to invade the restaurant. They scared many of our customers away, but now my crew and I are too afraid to leave. So, when you get inside, please send them out ASAP to where I am right now so we can escape! (Sapphire and Ruby: -coughLAZYASSWIMPScough-) -glares- Anyway, the fuzzle bunnies are poisoning and devouring almost all of the food! Right now they're on the 6 story-high mountain of ramen noodles!" the manager yelled.

Inuyasha's eyes bugged out.

"LET'S GET MOVING DAMNIT! HOW CAN THEY RUIN A PERFECTLY GOOD AMOUNT OF RAMEN? IT'S UNCIVILIZED AND INDECENT! I'LL BLOW THEIR ASSES ALL THE WAY TO THE OCEAN!" Inuyasha screamed and ran into the crashed building.

"The rabbits are in for a treat." Hiei said with a smirk as Sapphire started to crack up.

"That's my boyfriend." Sapphire said, ceasing her laughter with a smirk.

"They're bunnies, not rabbits!" Ruby said, hitting Hiei with a newspaper.

"Watch it, ningen." Hiei growled.

"Oh, bring it on shorty." Ruby said sarcastically, yet meaning it.

"FIGHT FIRRRRRRRREEEEEE, WITH FIRRRRRRRREEEEE!" Yusuke sang finally getter there. Psh, sadly enough, Rubes, it does sound like something WE'D do……

"Get singing lessons." Sapphire insisted. She then took out a silver whip with a black handle and a blue sapphire in crested within the handle.

"Let's go." she said emotionlessly. Ruby, Kurama, and Yusuke took a step back. Evil+weapon+no-emotionSCARY.

Hiei smirked. He liked it when they were all quiet and SERIOUS.

Ruby took out her short-word that had a black handle, and a red ruby was in crested within the handle.

Sapphire and Ruby looked at each other, nodded, and started running for the front entrance. Sapphire twirled her whip and it wrapped around Ruby's short-sword. They put their heads down, pounced off of separate cement poles, and landed in a cartwheel; disappearing into the dark place.

"Somewhat frightening how serious they become when fighting." Kurama stated, taking out his rose whip.

"I like it better that way." Hiei said, and unsheathed his katana. Yusuke just got ready to use his Spirit Gun if needed.

The three boys nodded at each other, then ran inside.

They came up behind Sapphire, Ruby, and Inuyasha. Out of nowhere, Azurite (Billy's charcter, no own.) pops up infront of Inuyasha with his bow and arrows.

"Ah, I see you're joining us." Sapphire said with a smirk.

"I don't see HOW you killed me on St. Patty's day, but I'm back!" he growled.

"Whatever." Ruby said, shaking her head, and they all faced forward. There, hovering somewhat, was a huge mountain of evil fuzzle bunnies!

They were either light blue, light green or light pink. They all were like cotton balls, about the size of a 12-yr-old's hand with long fuzzy ears. They had eyes like a….well, a rabbit's. They had four little feet sticking out of their cotton-ball-fluffy bodies. They had an opening, surrounded by the fuzziness, as their mouth with little sharpish teeth sticking out.

"Ready?" Hiei asked them all. OMFG! HIEI wants to make sure their ready! Holy chi!

They all nodded.

"WE CHALLENGE YOU TO MORTAL COMBAT!" Azurite yelled, and they all went into cool poses with their weapons.

"Fuzz, fuzzi, fuzzes." the leader of the fuzzle bunnies said. (Translation: Bring. It. On. Kind of how the jellyfish in Spongebob (sheesh, hate that show. And no own!) say it….)

Then they did bring it on. Poor fuzzle bunnies. The people who had similar weapons worked side by side.

Inuyasha was using his claws instead of Tetsusaiga, and since Yusuke was using Spirit Gun and no weapon, they worked side-by side slashing and blasting the little fuzzes.

Hiei was using his katana with none of his abilities, and Ruby was using her short-sword without her extra abilities. So they were also working side-by-side slicing.

Since Sapphire was using her whip, and so was Kurama, they stood back-to-back to each other and whipped the bunnies; who disintegrated as soon as the whips touched them.

Azurite decided to go with Inuyasha and Yusuke after much thought, but first he warned the workers to leave. Then he started shooting the bunnies by Inuyasha and Yusuke.

This went on for quite some time. Probably about 10 hours I'd say from how many evil fuzzle bunnies there were.

"HOW DARE YOU BASTARDS RUIN RAMEN!" Inuyasha growled and slice another one.

They were all gone except one. The leader.

"Die!" All 7 yelled and all slashed with swords, shot with arrows, sliced with claws, fired with a Spirit Gun, or whipped the leader with one quick motion.

Needless to say, he disintegrated as well. All 7 of them flopped down on their back, panting.

"I'll be going." Azurite said, standing up.

"Thanks for the help." Kurama thanked.

"I wouldn't have, but I've known Sapphire and Ruby for a long time…..Sapphire longer but still. And besides, how could I pass up a frickin' opportunity to challenge them to mortal combat?" Azurite said, somewhat excited?

He then disappeared as mysteriously as he appeared. Es.Ca.Pe! LOL.

"Well that was weird….." Sapphire said after about 5 minutes of silence.

"Yeah……" Ruby agreed; everybody else nodded.

"Bastards. Poor ramen." Inuyasha said, his ears drooping.

"AW! KAWAII!" Sapphire shrieked and rubbed Inuyasha's ears.

Inuyasha sweatdropped, but smiled, and his ears were all perky-ful again.

"Alright, well, now that THAT is over with, where to next?" Kurama asked them.

"Well, first let's get a bag to put it over Kuwabara's head." Sapphire said.

"Then, we'll take Kuwabara away from the sunken fish guy so we can bash him in later chapters." Ruby added.

"After that, we'll go to the red one's house and get some sleep; it's already about 10:00 PM here." Hiei explained.

"And finally, we'll figure out what to do tomorrow….most likely the list." finished Inuyasha.

They all nodded, grabbed paper bags, and walked in the direction of Kuwabara.

Sapphire: Yay! End of chapter!

Kurama: Impressive; 20 pages and a quarter.

Hiei: She's had more.

Yusuke: Yeah.

Sapphire: 0.0 WHAT THE HELL? GET RID OF YUSUKE, I WANT INU BACK!

Yusuke: It's either me or Kuwabara. Because Hiei is leaving as well.

Sapphire: I call Ruby to the stand.

Hiei: -leaves-

Ruby: Yay! I get to help with author notes for a while!

Kurama:

Sapphire: Unfortunately, HE is here. -points to Yusuke-

Yusuke: Hmmph.

Ruby: REVIEW DAMNIT!

Sapphire: MAY THE SHWORTZ BE WITH YOU!

(U Spaceballs. Got the idea somewhat from winter –iel –o burzum, who says 'may the sporks be with you'.)


	4. Try to Find 1 Good Thing About Kuwabara

50 Things to Do Before We Perish

**Chapter Four: Try and Find One Good Thing about Kuwabara**

**Sapphire: GOMEN! GOMEN! GOMEN! My computer (Ruby is a witness damnit!) just, froze out of nowhere about two weeks ago while I was reviewing a friend of mine's story and it completely BLEEPed itself up and I lost E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G-. Including my start to this chapter; this is redone obviously. School's finally done thank hell, so I'll be able to try and get this story and my other story's updated faster. I don't know, something tells me I won't be able to finish this story for a while. I mean, it's been over a month I think and I only have 3 chapters….Actually, if you think about it, its good progress. So anyways, there isn't anybody else helping with this author's note because instead of being my normal stupid self, I must be serious for the moment. I don't own anything except Sapphire and the plot. Griffen-gal owns Ruby. On with the story before I think of something else to say. Oh, and this may be a short chapter considering how hard it is to do what they have to. And one more thing, about the reviews, well, my computer as you know, made me lose everything, so if your review was already responded to, sorry for the replay.**

**Review Ohhhh, okay. See, you have to tell the slow people this kind of stuff. I tried! AGH! NO! THE BRIGHT, EVIL, CAREBEARY COLORS! (3): Okay.**

**Inuyahsa fangirl (2): Oh it's okay. I know, school's out FINALLY. It couldn't have come sooner, though. I mean really, why should we have to work on the last 3 days of school? It doesn't fly right! Thanks and I know! Oh, 'o-negai' is 'please' as in a request. Oh, you already found out how they gout out. Yeah, I was pending that idea, however I got to add stupid humor in with the idea I used so it's all good. U**

**Inuyahsa fangirl (3): Hey K. Thanks for both reviews, and I'm very glad you enjoyed this chapter as well! Aww! Warm fuzzies all around –huggles K-chan and dances with fuzzies-**

**Griffen-gal (3): If I die because of angry reviewers, you are my witness that I couldn't update! Anyways, yep, I updated. Poor Kurama cookie. Now, if it was a DEVON cookie and you ate it, you'd A. die crying, and B. be happy. . Not the world, the review box, lol. Yeah, all warm, and fuzziful. Oh I know. If only looks could kill –death glares Azurite- Damnit. I know, isn't that weird? I'm not usually the fangirl, but I gotsta show love for my Inu-chan. MAY THE SHWARTZ BE WITH YOU AS WELL, YOUNG ONE!**

Well, now that Kuwabara was officially bagnitized, the group of currently 7 walked to Ruby's house. They'd been standing outside of her house for around 10 minutes, knocking on the door.

"Hey…nobody's answering…" Sapphire said.

"Maybe nobody's home?" Ruby suggested.

"Should we try and break in?" Inuyasha asked.

"ARE YOU ALL INSANE?" Kurama asked.

"Are you ACTUALLY asking that?" Sapphire asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah really." Ruby said, and waved him off.

"Yeah, let's break in." Yusuke nodded.

"I think I'm claustrophobic….or seeing things. 'Cause I'm seeing 4 corners and only brown." Kuwabara whined.

"Would that be due to the fact that there are 7 bags over your head?" Inuyasha asked. Yes, folks, Kuwabara ALSO put a bag over his head, thinking it was some kind of game.

"Or that you made eye holes 3 inches above your eyes?" Yusuke asked.

"Oh, this is enough." Kurama huffed, annoyed. He then did something so horrible, so cruel, and so…nasty, that I swear Ruby should have dumped him right THEN and THERE.

**Announcer Guy's Reincarnation: AND THAT'S THE END!**

**Sapphire: NO! NO CLIFFHANGERS! –gets out trusty candle holder-**

**Announcer Guy's Reincarnation: Mommy! –goes unconscious-**

**Sapphire: And now back to the originally scheduled presentation that was delayed for the last time to try and make you think it was a cliffhanger when it actually wasn't and if it is delayed yet again I'll throw my trusty candle holder out and get out my trusty LIT candle that is somehow in flames already and burning another lifeless corpse within a word out of my mouth. And now we continue.**

"Oh, this is enough." Kurama huffed, annoyed. He then did something so horrible, so cruel, and so…nasty, that I swear Ruby should have dumped him right THEN and THERE.

He took off the paper bags. All 7 of them. He could have left maybe at least ONE on. Hell.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Sapphire, Ruby, and Inuyasha screamed.

"Dude…..there's a huge rat on your face……." Yusuke said, pointing.

"Sure it's not just his hair?" Sapphire asked as Ruby picked up a stick and poked at Kuwabara's head.

"Nope, it's a rat." Ruby declared and Sapphire pointed and fell on the floor, rolling down the huge flight of stairs laughing.

Everybody blinked a few times and looked down the steps to see her roll…..she wasn't there….What the hell?

"Hey, what're you all staring at?" Sapphire asked, looking over the tallest one, Inuyasha's, shoulder on tip-toe.

"Hey, where's Kuwabara?" Yusuke asked, looking around.

"MY SPLEEN! HELP! MY SPINE! MY RAT!" Kuwabara screamed as he flew down the flight of steps, cracks being heard.

"Um, a rat isn't an organ…." Kurama pointed out.

"Well, neither is help. So, therefore, let's pretend we never heard the word, considering we won't do a damn thing anyway." Sapphire said with a shrug.

Inuyasha and Yusuke then kicked open the door, it flying down on Ruby's rug. BIG mistake.

All was silent. Ohhhh, mysterious. And as it is all silent, it is no longer silent, because a hobo, whom nobody noticed, was being attacked by a really fat person over a crumb of Twinkie, which was in Kuwabara's rat's mouth.

The boys, Kurama included who was about to walk inside although somewhat confused and sighing on the fact they couldn't have just walked inside the door considering it WASN'T LOCKED, then all turned around to see the girls with those teary puppy dog eyes (Inu, no pun intended) and the pouty, quivering lips.

"Oh no, they aren't going to cry are they?" Yusuke said, seemingly shocked.

"Oh no! WE'RE SORRY! WE'RE SORRY!" Inuyasha and Kurama yelled, bowing down at the girls feets. Ha, Ruby, WE have pets.

"How…how….how…" Ruby stuttered.

"COULD…COULD YOU...YOU?" Sapphire finished.

Her and Ruby then hugged each other and slid down on to the floor, their tears becoming waterfalls….oohhh, PRETTY water!

"We didn't mean to!" Inuyasha defended.

"What did the door to you?" Sapphire yelled.

"It was such a good door!" Ruby screamed.

"Oh, you can get a new door." Kurama said with a sweatdrop.

"I'LL NEVER GET A NEW DOOR!" Ruby bawled.

"IT'S NOT THE SAME!" Sapphire chimed in.

Sapphire and Ruby then exchanged teary glances. They stood up, picked up the door, and, both carrying it over their heads, and walked to the back of the house. Inuyasha and Kurama and Yusuke exchanged sweatdropped glances and followed them, meanwhile Kuwabara had joined in the fight for the Twinkie crumb and was losing terribly due to his broken bones.

The boys turned the corner to see a HUGE ceremony/funeral thingy. About 123,456 people were sitting in rows, mourning over something in a coffin. Ruby and Sapphire were in all black and crying over the coffin.

"What the hell?" Inuyasha said slowly.

"Dear ye beloved, we be gathered here today to witness the burial of Ruby's door. Please stand and bow your heads in respect as music plays and the coffin is buried in the ground." An old woman in priestess clothing that looked oddly enough like Kaede read sadly, and quickly disappeared as Inuyasha gaped at her; knowing that indeed, that strange woman was Kaede.

Sapphire and Ruby then threw black roses over the coffin, catching Kurama's attention more slightly, and then they, using their elemental energy, lowered the coffin, which contained the door obviously, into the large hole shaped oddly like a peanut.

"Why don't you guys like, ya know, just fix the door?" Yusuke asked, shoving his hands in his pocket.

The coffin flung open and the door jumped out and started dancing. Everybody looked shocked and confused, but really it was Sapphire and Ruby making it dance with strings in their hands and they were above a stage looking down at all the other people and then they started making Inuyasha, Yusuke, and Kurama do little jigs. You wish.

The coffin jumped out of the grave by Sapphire and Ruby lifting it.

"Holy hell, Yusuke had a GOOD idea." Ruby mocked.

"Unusual…." Sapphire said, making Inuyasha and Kurama start to crack up.

"TO THE CONVIENTLY AND MYSTICALLY PLACED WORK SHOP!" the girls shouted, and yelled, "Hup, hup, hup, hup!" as they ran the door into the workshop, locking the door and placing a sign outside that said 'IDi0T5 aT W0rK' on the door.

"Uh, what just happened?" Kurama asked, everybody sweatdropping.

The other people went home to go fight over how the door died considering they didn't know, and because there was no longer a funeral taking place.

"I believe they are fixing the door…" Inuyasha trailed off.

Large bangs and crashes were heard from inside the workshop, as were drills and hammering. Smoke came out of the windows and there was a huge boom as the workshop basically fell apart.

Then Sapphire and Ruby came walking out of the workshop with the door wrapped up so nobody would see it. The girls had aprons on and smoke and ash covered their entire bodies.

"Done!" they yelled happily.

"May we see it?" Kurama said with a small smile.

"I dunno….you weren't very appreciative of the door BEFORE." Sapphire said, holding the door closer to her body.

"And YOU guys certainly weren't." Ruby said, pointing an accusing finger at Inuyasha and Yusuke.

"Please?" Kurama asked. The two girls rolled their eyes.

"Fine." Yusuke sighed and kicked a rock.

Inuyasha and Kurama looked at each other, nodded, and then both kissed their girlfriends on the cheek. Hearts filled Sapphire's and Ruby's eyes and all around them.

Quickly they unwrapped the door…..or what was LEFT of a door….it now had a doorknob, and a top half. The bottom half was gone.

"THIS is what you call fixing it?" Yusuke said laughing. He shrunk down as the girls grew all big and fire surrounded them.

"Heheheh! It's wonderful!" Yusuke said, rubbing the back of his head, sweatdropping, and taking a step back.

"You know it." Sapphire said with a wave of her hand.

Sapphire and Ruby then handed the door to Kurama, Yusuke, and Inuyasha, whom sighed. They then all retreated to the front of Ruby's house, and put the door on…it looked really bad.

"It looks great." Inuyasha lied with a sweatdrop, and he and Kurama gave them the thumbs up sign.

"We know." The girls said proudly. Quickly they magically pulled out bubble wrap and in a second and a blur of blue and red; the entire house was covered from top to bottom.

"And this would be for…..." Yusuke asked.

**Sapphire: you know what people? I completely forgot about Hiei. XP**

"Duh, if Kuwabara is coming in my house this is the only way." Ruby said and she and Sapphire walked inside the house.

Hiei came up the steps wearing a glove on his right hand. He had something bloody and bruised dragging behind him; he was holding the thing with the gloved hand.

"Where the hell have you been? We haven't seen you for like, 6 pages." Inuyasha said.

Hiei blinked and gestured towards the bloody pulpy bruisyd nasty thingy which he put down. He then burnt the glove so he was clean. The thing was in fact, Kuwabara…hey, it's an improvement!

Inuyasha and Kurama made an 'O' shape with their mouths then walked inside the house along with Hiei. Yusuke was left to drag Kuwabara in.

They all sat on the bubble wrapped couches, making a very loud popping noise.

Everybody turned to Sapphire.

She looked around. "What!"

"Well, you're the only one who can heal blood, dark, and light wounds…."Inuyasha said.

**(Dark and light meaning elements.)**

"Point?" Sapphire asked unfazed.

"Well, Kuwabara needs to be healed." Hiei added.

"I see this conversation leading nowhere." Sapphire said, crossing her arms and sitting Indian style.

"Damnit, just heal him." Inuyasha and Yusuke AND (surprisingly) Kurama growled.

"Kurama, I'm shocked." Sapphire said with a smirk, beating around the bush. What the hell, I didn't order any bushes for my fic…LEAVE! –digs up bush and burns it-

Kurama's eye started twitching.

"Hey, think of it this way. If he's like THIS, and dies, we won't be able to bash him anymore…or hurt him….or poison him in any way…." Ruby said.

Sapphire sighed, but said "Fine." She then put on a rubber suit and bent down near Kuwabara. She placed her hands over Kuwabara's chest…or what was left of it, and started chanting a Japanese spell; her eyes turned a glowing white and blue light emitted from her hands. In moments, Kuwabara looked like his normally freaky and ugly self and had no bruises and unfortunately, was conscious.

"Thank you, Sapphire." Kurama said, nodding and giving her a small smile.

Sapphire rolled her eyes and hopped out of the suit.

"So………what next?" Inuyasha said, throwing out the rubber suit.

"The list." Hiei said, as if it was obvious……..well….it was.

"Good idea!" Ruby said happily, popping yet another bubble. She pulled it out from behind Yusuke's ear (random magic trick she learned) and started to read it.

"WOW!"

Everybody turned to stare with a quirked eyebrow at Kuwabara.

"What oh stupidity on the horizon?" Sapphire asked.

"Wow! You can SEE that far?" Kuwabara said, excited.

Everybody sweatdropped, but Sapphire fell over anime style.

"Hn. Baka." Hiei said and sighed. You know what? Hiei never WAS a man of too many words…..

"Kuwabara, what did you wow at first?" Kurama asked, getting very impatient.

"Uh………………………………….." Kuwabara trailed off with drool coming out of his mouth.

"EW! MY NICE CLEAN BUBBLEWRAP! THINK STUPID!" Ruby screamed and threw a newspaper at Kuwabara.

"Ow! Oh! I remember! Ruby magically and spectacularly pulled the aper from behind Yusuke's ear!" Kuwabara said proudly.

"Oh, you mean like this?" Inuyasha asked, pulling the same list from behind Ruby's ear.

"Yeah!"

"Or like this?" Sapphire asked, pulling it from Hiei's ear.

"Wow!"

"Or like this?" Hiei said, pulling it from behind Inuyasha's ear.

"…"

"Or this?" Kurama and Yusuke asked, both pulling the same list from behind Sapphire's ear.

"HOLY WOW! YOU'RE ALL MAGICAL!" Kuwabara shouted, overwhelmed.

"Well………elements…….." Sapphire said slowly, pointing with her right pointer finger to Ruby, and her left pointer finger at herself.

"I think it's just because Kuwabara's a moron." Yusuke said, Inuyasha and Ruby nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, he's probably thinking about pink bunnies again…" Sapphire said with a shrug.

Kuwabara's eyes bulged out. "WOH! NOW SHE'S A _MIND_-READER?" he shouted happily.

Sapphire's eye began to twitch.

"Okay, moving on and ignoring the bunny obsessed baka……………" Ruby said, taking the list away from Yusuke and Kurama.

"4. Try and find one good thing about………….oh god." She said worried.

"Hm?" Sapphire said, looking over her shoulder.

"Oh this'll be impossible." Sapphire said with a heavy groan.

"Years. Centuries. All to just figure this out…and by that time, we'll all be perished already and won't ever complete this list!" Ruby shouted breathless.

"Who/what is it?" Kurama asked.

"That creature." Sapphire and Ruby said together, pointing at Kuwabara.

"Oh geez." Inuyasha groaned.

"Hn." Hiei snorted.

"Oh come on, let's think." Yusuke said with a nod. They all shrugged, agreed, and sat Indian style, thinking, while Kuwabara sat and played with his toes.

**Alrighty then. Everybody go grab a soda, take a piss, come back, drink even more soda, and watch the cute yet evil pink ducky swimming in the pond. So cute!**

It had been about 10 hours since then; very, very, very, very, VERY late at night by this time.

"And it can't involve anything about him being fun to kill……….." Sapphire groaned.

"Or hurt….." Ruby sighed.

"How about he's a good roller?" Kurama suggested.

"The hell?" Inuyasha asked with a weird look on his face.

"Well," Kurama said, "it's technically us NOT hurting him in anyway if he falls down the entire flight of stairs on his own; Sapphire only gave him a mere push. He had perfect rolling posture."

"Kurama, I love you." Sapphire shouted, and ran and hugged Kurama; he blushed which was a no-no.

Inuyasha growled and pulled Sapphire away from Kurama and made her sit on his lap. Ruby growled and jumped into Kurama's lap.

"Geez, I was kidding." Sapphire said seriously and wondered what the perverted minds of her elemental sister and boyfriend were contemplating.

**Sapphire: END!**


End file.
